Hey :) i wasn’t gonna post, but i remembered that it’s cool to be human, and it’s cool to share my humanness. i have some health issues i hardly discuss, but it leaves me in a lot of pain and discomfort daily. the toughest place for me: my belly & the fun surrounding areas. today was a really tough one, tougher than usual. so, i asked myself: what can i do that will really make me feel better?
🌙food & nourishment?
instead of the way i used to treat myself, focusing on:
•’ugh, why is my body doing this?’ or
• ‘i wish this would end because i want/need to do ___’
when you’re stressed, tired, or just need a break, let yourself have it!✨
show yourself that you want to nurture your own self. practicing being nice to yourself eventually becomes a natural practice.
kind of shocked about being self-loving instead of my old, usual self-loathing. wow🌞
Happy first day of spring!!🌞time for a spring sale for my self-love reminder jewelry line @thewarriorcollective yay! we’ve finally restocked silver bracelets after being sold out for a while, thanks to you all :) click the link in my bio to shop!
✨hand stamped in the usa
✨durable and tarnish-free
✨can wear in water💧will not discolor or corrode
✨and super affordable, made with love from me to you
treat yourself, my warriors, i love you!
Trying to have more of these moments🌙 i crave more air, more time outside, and more time experiencing myself. i tend to hide away and crave comfort, but i’m starting to crave something beyond simply ‘comfortable.’ i’m honestly so excited this feeling has popped up, because winter is rough for this gal.
i want you to know that it’s okay to feel like you’re not ready to get out and about💭but make sure you still allow yourself to dream of things you’ll want to do when you are ready. those wishes are the ones that whip me back into a reality where i can actually make them come true.
✨give yourself what you need today, and don’t forget to dream about tomorrow
🥞the highlight of my weekend :) omg they were so good and i feel soo good about it. a brunch date’s been on my wishlist for too long, and i was absolutely ready to check it off my list! some nerves, but i knew they’d show up. being nice to those nerves helped them quiet down and give me a chance to get excited about what i was about to experience: true enjoyment with the spiciest gingerbread pancakes and caramelized pears, covered in orange mascarpone cream✨🍊
check mark✔️she actually did it!
I’m out of my funk and so into friday!!🎈i had a darker day a couple days ago and once it passed, i said: ‘i feel like i just need one off day a week.’ this isn’t to give permission for behaviors or encourage struggle, but to find forgiveness and space for these moments. because hey, every day of my life used to be a rough one. it’s real and soooo normal, it still blows my mind that we so get caught up in the midst of it. it’s so important to let yourself experience everything that goes on inside of you, with more kindness than the time before. because moving on almost always feels slightly smoother the next time :)
sending you good vibes✨is there anything you’d like to do this weekend?
& my necklace says warrior, from my @thewarriorcollective jewelry collection!
I waltzed into a makeup store today and noticed that i didn’t really need any of it. i looked in the mirror and felt empowered in this bare face. now, i love makeup, but it’s much different than the intense ‘love’ i used to have for it. as a high schooler, i’d risk being 2 hours late to make myself ‘presentable.’ a lot. i didn’t actually even enjoy fixing my hair or painting my face. i did it to hide so much more than my outer self. i think i was just so afraid that people could see my ugliness i felt inside.
i’d never heard anything about anxiety, depression, or eating disorders. turns out, i was going through all of it. without knowing that i wasn’t a ‘weird, messed up person,’ i hid it all and thought changing my appearance would help everything beneath become healed and beautiful, too.
but your inner battles do make you beautiful. once i accepted them, they’ve helped me grow stronger and closer to myself. we are messy, wonderful beings, inside and out.
try to let yourself really see yourself from time to time. it’s a cute moment🤗
I woke up with hunger and happiness around it :) the kind of scenario that’s still kind of rare, but so rewarding. my lifelong relationship with food has always been black and white: i either pushed eating away or depended on it far too much. it’s taken a lot of practice, honesty with myself, and talk time in therapy to really feel compassion for my hunger and permission to feed myself. and i’ve learned to try to respect, listen, and respond to what my body needs.
i want and deserve to feel good about the healthy, human feelings of hunger and fullness, even feeling ‘too full’ and bloated. because i’m just a person, and the only way i can heal my feels with food is giving it a true try✨
Finding feeling🌙i always wanted to find ways embrace myself, but i wasn’t ready to put the work in. it’s hard to admit that you’re intimidated by your own self. when you let go of feeling embarrassed by it all, you can start building a bridge between you and your body.
start by touching the skin on your face. that might even be too much at first, but slowly it’ll feel natural. maybe even pleasant. give yourself time to become braver, moving to your shoulders and to other parts of you that you didn’t think you’d be ‘ready’ to accept. acceptance has the power to turn into tolerance, like, then maybe even love✨one touch at a time
Sitting with my softness and my smile🌱wow, to get here took a while. i never really grew into what i thought a woman was supposed to look like. i’ve haven’t grown since grade school and the b***s and hips i thought would come never quite showed up. without this growth, i felt like my body failed me in some way, and i needed to be ‘perfect’ in ways i knew - shrinking to another beauty standard of thinness.
what i’ve learned is: i don’t need to look like a ‘beautiful woman.’ i just want to feel like a beautiful person. i want to like myself for my insides, and not give into all the pressures outside of me. i’m letting go of the ideals that society’s taught me, the features i always compared myself to. once you notice that all these self-doubts and unkind words about yourself are simply noise, you’ll start to really see yourself. and i feel like you’ll probably smile about it, too :)
It’s okay to wanna be comfy! sometimes, i feel uncomfy and i need comfy clothes to help me feel comfy again. and that’s okay!! it’s okay for our bodies to look and feel differently at different times of the year.
all you need is to be aware, honest, and kind with yourself.
new video: how to wear and eat what you want✨
✨click link in my bio or swipe up in my story
i hope you enjoy, i hope it helps, and i love you!
Showing up as my own sunshine🌼
hiding away feels easier to do, but i want to try to show up more today. i’m gonna push myself a little bit with a lot of compassion, and try doing things that make me feel good throughout the day. and hey, if none of that happens, i’ll be happy that i’m trying and treating myself better. that’s the win i want✨
so - is there anything you want to do today?
or just say yes to treating yourself better today🤗
I finally got around to sushi & celebrating💫i’m still in shock and so grateful for all of your love and support on my @instagram feature for @neda week. all i’ve ever dreamed of is helping you (and me) feel seen, heard, loved and encouraged. thanks to you, i finally got a chance🙏🏼
i’m just over a year into recovery and yes, i’m smiling and so excited to eat this :) but i also know how it feels to feel a lil’ nervous all day before enjoying your favorite meal.
every feeling is a valid one, and each exists to teach you something. tonight, i learned how much stronger i am than old woes. i have wishes of continuing to free myself, and lookie here - we’re doin’ it!!!💙
I let myself have a good week by letting go. i stepped out into fresh air more, instead of just into my bed or the gym. i remembered that sushi and doughnuts make me happy🍩, and eating with people i love is something i always wish i’d be able to do more. and listen: the only reason i could actually do this is because i noticed i was spending too much time alone; falling into moments that help me feel safe and comforted, but never truly make me happy or feel fulfilled. try to observe yourself with curiosity and kindness, leaving judgment at the door.
your darker moments are simply ones that inspire you to find brighter ones✨
Two simple words that mean so much, truly describe us, and sometimes, are still so hard to believe. sure, we choose self-love and recovery, but that doesn’t make an easy switch to a new, healed life🌱
i often still feel lesser and insecure, but i see how amazing it is to just make it through another day, feeding and treating my body with more compassion than before.
💭i try to remember that i truly am beautiful in my own way, and comparing myself to anyone else would be fruitless. we are strong and beautiful and we’re in this together.
this limited edition @aerie + @neda tee is available for you now and 100% of sales go to the non-profit that supports those affected by eating disorders✨beautiful.
This is for you, my girl. i wish i could sit with you and tell you that you’re not the only one ‘like this’. i’m proud that you’ve survived and i promise, you’ll thrive one day. at 10 years old, i’d never heard the words ‘eating disorder.’ by 21, my relationship with food and my body became a monster in me i felt ashamed of, and it only grew stronger the longer i stayed silent.
(tw: eating disorder) i remember, a boy i had a crush on made fun of me for looking ‘chubby’ and i soon became a shell of myself - the girl you see on the left. i already felt so uncomfortable as a shorter, asian girl who didn’t look like anyone i admired in magazines. i had no one to talk to, so food and self-loathing became my best friends. i soon spiraled into binge eating disorder, bulimia, and deep depression.
i lost all sense of self and self-worth, dedicating my life to shrinking into something i thought would make me beautiful, or simply acceptable. i didn’t know that it was okay to struggle, and truly never thought i’d live to tell my story, because every day was battle.
this is not a transformation, but a tribute to my 10-year old self.
i hope to show you, young kelly, and all of you, that it’s not about finding a cure, but learning to cope. by trying self-love, not self-loathing. you deserve to find hope for your future, love for your present and acceptance of your past.
it’s your time✨
💕and i believe in you
Hi! i can’t believe i actually get to say this, but @instagram asked to feature me for this year’s @neda awareness week, and i am so honored and truly at a loss for words!
my struggle with eating disorders began when i was 10, and i honestly thought i was the only person in the world like ‘this.’ all i ever wanted was to help one more person feel less alone.
when @instagram reached out, i was in shock. they said that they see the beautiful and empowering self-love community we have built together.
with the happiest tears falling from my eyes, thank you - to all of you for being a part of my journey and i‘m so grateful to be with you on yours.
🙏🏼please go check out my feature on @instagram ’s feed + watch their story for my favorite self-love tips
to @instagram , @lizziefuhr & @benfitch: thank you for letting me share my story and shining a loving light on mental health and recovery✨
Giveaway!☁️feels like i'm floating :)
i kinda honestly s**k at self care sometimes :/ (more like most of the time) so taking a second to pause, breathe, and really-slow down-is what i realllly need right now
✨it's #nedaweek and i really wanna gift you a little more love.
💫bless my aromatherapy scarf and bracelets that hold onto healing scents that calm me for hours. idk how to relax most of the time, but cozy smells really help, and i hope it helps you, too🙂
@therapythreads wants to give you a gift:
☁️aromatherapy scarf starter kit
☁️aromabeads & essential oils
☁️'kind is the new cool' tee
how to enter:
☁️like this photo
☁️tag 2 friends + say something nice
☁️follow @therapythreads + me
you can also repost this pic to your insta feed/story and enter as many times as you want!
good luck✨i love you!
👋🏼march 4th: winner has been chosen, thank you!
Is that a for me?! :) heh, hope so. almost always, i can get a little goofy before taking time off from my routines and going out to eat. stepping away from exercise hasn't always been easy and braving it out to find food freedom isn't always supposed to be. but, when you give yourself some much needed time and space to tell yourself: it's okay for all your feelings to come through, you can actually push through and find yourself nomming on a delicious slice of life🍕
389 days ago, i decided to try recovery. because 13 years of lone struggle started making less sense to me. i realized i could have a better life, and i was finally ready to try. but listen - i wasn't ready until i was, and it's okay to be wherever you are in your journey. the only thing i hope that you do for yourself daily is forgive and have faith in your future. that's something i couldn't gift myself until i learned to see my worth and embrace my present, past and possibility of a self-loving future.
be proud of how far you've come, even if every day might've been a battle. standing here today shows me you've already won, and you have so far to go.
stay with me. with us❤️
watch my insta story & join our 7-day neda week challenge :) yay!
Flowery free🌸i remember when certain parts of me that i love so much now, were actually the ones i didn’t know how to love. i’m kind of surprised how confident i felt sticking my leg out, but it just felt natural. that’s the coolest part!! about trying to embrace yourself and love the skin you’re in - it becomes so intuitive that you’ll barely notice until you start strutting your stuff with no hesitation or apologies💫