“in functional people, adult induced feelings are the result of a process called empathy. as a healthy adult you can be empathetic with someone else as that person shares his or her feelings because you can experience that persons feelings with him or her a little bit. everyone can absorb feelings from another person. for example, if your friend, sitting in a chair near you, talks about a painful experience in her life and feels it very intensely, you as another adult can feel it, too, and become empathetic. this becomes a problem when you take on too much of your friends pain and become overwhelmed by her feelings, which often happens to codependents whose internal boundary is either nonexistent or damaged.
so, whenever you are in close proximity to another adult who is a) feeling very intensely, b) in denial of his or her feelings or c) being irresponsible with feelings, you can take on too much of the emotion from the other adult and experience adult-induced feelings. these overwhelming feelings usually cause you to feel crazy; the feelings do not make sense to you because they are not your own. whereas, if you only experience the feeling as empathy at a lower, non overwhelming level, you are being a functional adult.” -pia mellody
this book is tearing down the walls that abuse has built around me. concepts of who i thought i was continue to be ripped down to their rawest form in the shape of unmet childhood needs. i thought feeling everybody else’s pain was not a choice but something that just was, turns out it’s more about a lack of internal boundaries. it is so empowering and super painful all at the same time. for all my brothers and sisters that have been abused in any way. this book is for you. it’s gets into other concepts such as carried emotions from your abusers, self esteem, other esteem, children’s basic needs and how to stop the collective compounding pain of codependence.
I envision a world where young girls are taught to honour their womanhood, to trust in the power of their wombs, to know the strength and initiation that menarche provides, to know their cycles, to empower the force of life residing in our sacred vessels. i envision a world where growing older is honoured and looked at as a sign of great knowledge, not weakness or becoming irrelevant. one where “aging well” does not refer to ones appearance but how happy and peaceful one feels. i envision a world where it’s normal to offer menstrual blood to the plants, trees and earth as our ancestors once did in order to give back to the soil that nourishes us. i envision a world where we walk the deer trails to glean wisdom and sit in ceremony with our brothers and sisters to build community. i envision a world where a pre-requisite to beginning school is meditation. today is a day for dreaming and making new realities. jai ma.
That time in the mountains when you said i am here to serve you. i am here to help you heal. i am here to walk beside you, to laugh with you and create new moments together. thank you, i love you. @suemoodiephotography ❤️❤️
A few years ago i walked through this labyrinth. in the middle there was a meditation bench, i sat for awhile breathing in the fresh, clean air, taking in the beauty of this place with all of my senses. i lost track of time, when i finally emerged, i walked back out following the way i took in, everything was the same except i was different
Play, intuition and creativity. for me these days it looks like creating art, then destroying it, building collages that come directly from a part of me that doesn’t have to match, be symmetrical or look good, making pixie dust for my niece. it also looks like baths, lots of baths, regular b****t massage, re-discovering my yoni, paying close attention to my yes and even closer attention to my no. it looks like being a kind woman and not a nice girl. it’s committing to a daily meditation practice so that i can be connected to myself.(which also brings up fatigue, anger and frustration that’s been living in my nervous system) which in turn requires extreme compassion. it looks like playing apples to apples with friends and laughing so hard water shoots out of my nose. it also looks like going out for some photos and ending up in a snowball fight with my father-in-law. how do you honour the wild being that resides within?
My intention for this new moon is for all b*****s to be loved. may all women feel the liberation of heart and w**b connection. may all women touch their bodies and make them home. may all women make an alter of their bodies, cherish their uniqueness and live in a state of empowerment. golden tas b****t oil is now live in my site. link in profile ❤️photo cred : 1st in series, the lovely @beecupelli
Golden tas b****t massage oil. ladies... this beautiful b****t massage oil will be available for purchase soon. b****t massage is such intimate way to connect with your heart, tune into the way your b*****s feel and get to know yourself, your body and it’s rhythms. massaging your b*****s regularly moves lymph, helps relieve congestion, increases circulation this was a collaboration with my dear friend ange over @thefeminineshift who has put together a magical gift box full of ways to treat yo’self. golden tas will be available for purchase individually or as part of the gift box. when woman gather, miracles happen. head on over to @thefeminineshift to get your daily dose of inspiration, love and thoughtful gifts. #adorninfusions
The gift of pain and surrender
i’ve been pondering chronic pain and awareness. speaking as someone who has a little guardian angel called pain, i wanted to offer some support to those of you who go about your day with this ally. a wise woman once said “your pain keeps you from becoming someone you’re not”
as i reflected on this statement, i realized she was absolutely right. my physical pain ally has helped me tremendously in cutting things out of my life that just don’t work. anytime i am in the midst of pain i think about this grouping of words and i am immediately thrown into gratitude.
the following are just some tidbits that i’ve learned for myself that actually apply to everyone. just take out the word pain and replace it with whatever you’re going through. *there are real physical boundaries that need to be honored. everyone is different and has requirements to keep their vessels in tip-top shape. if yours is pain, utilize it in a way to offer yourself more love, more compassion, more slowness/presence in your day. become the mother of your body. *you are actually miraculous. you have deep reserves of strength. you are not weak. you are not fragile. you get up, you do the life things and quite often you do them while experiencing pain (physically or emotionally) *you are not a bad person if you have not overcome your pain (heartache, jealousy, anger or whatever it is) you are whole and complete and worthy of love.
so whatever season you are in on this vast sliding scale called life, honour it, trust in its intelligence and do things that make you happy, regardless of the pain. if it’s going to stick around, might as well take it on a fun journey
At first i didn’t care to post about #metoo. i thought, good lord, i don’t even want to talk about this anymore. you see i’ve done all sorts of self care trying to transmute the emptiness in my heart within the connection to my womb. i’ve done rituals, cleansing, reiki, matrix, psychologist visits, cried buckets of tears. i’ve asked why me, countless meditations, yoga, w**b space clearing, dark night of the soul work, healing the inner child, dream space questioning. i’ve hated good men, been scared of intimacy, hated myself, hated other people. searching, seeking, running, hiding. i’ve kept myself as small as i felt inside. struggled with depression, chronic pain and anxiety.
36 years later, the collective abuse of men and woman on this planet is finally starting to unweave itself from my nervous system. this topic is too important to keep in the dark so yeah ...#metoo beautiful awareness is coming from this open conversation. i’ve witnessed so many people sharing and blooming. let’s heal together. i’m sharing on behalf of my lineage, my sisters, my mother, my uncles, my aunts, my grandmothers and all of those whose suffering remain in silence. my voice is your voice. my healing is your healing. may this sharing be for the good of all, may this sharing be for the free will of all, may this sharing be pleasing to the goddess. so mote it be.... .