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alexandra.tai

Ꭺ. Matt. 6:21. Ps. 27:4. Isa. 66:1-2. ❛He is the resurrection and the life.❜ ✑ Berkeley, California 〰️ #rawwritersdiary #arawwrite
140 posts
646 followers
747 following
The second paragraph reads, “the point was made at once. his books were like his prized bottles, waiting for the moment he chose to open them; there for his pleasure according to his own timing. after all, what good would a wine cellar of empty bottles be to him? or a library of books already completed?” — @bookshop_us, 2016, superimposed on a (headless and) black-and-white me by the incandescent @ashltorres ♡ book hoarders, rejoice. for here, we find (finally) the cogitative escapist retort we’ve all been waiting for. quite right, i do seem wholly incapable of stopping myself from purchasing more books... even with the all-too-profound revelation that my library is already teeming with stories yet untouched. but, listen to the french gentleman. what point is there to a library of books already completely read? each story is there, handpicked for the world i want at my fingertips by mere perusal. and you can’t expect me to swallow worlds whole and leave only spines cracked behind. what then would the purpose of my library be? as much as i love revisiting old friends (harry potter? always), you have to agree— tasting every word in my library would render the very purpose of its existence somewhat obsolete. i’m here for worlds dived into and worlds yet to be explored. so, sue me. my stack of books keeps growing. but that, my friends, might just be the point. / currently reading: lethal white by robert galbraith
19 215 3 weeks ago
I turned 25 yesterday!!! (or 52, according to my kids) 🎈 almost cried during house time singing this song (which became very, very dear to me in the training): “jesus, fountain of my days, / well-spring of my heart's delight, / brightness of my morning rays, / solace of my hours of night; / _when i see thee, i arise_ / to the hope of cloudless skies. / oh, how weary were the years / ere thy form to me was known; / oh, how gloomy were the fears / when i _seemed_ to be alone; / i despaired the storm to brave / till thy footprints touched the wave. / but thy presence on the deep / calmed the pulses of the sea, / and the waters _sank to sleep_ / in the rest of _seeing thee_; / and my once rebellious will / heard the mandate, _peace, be still!_ / now thy will and mine are one, / heart in heart, and hand in hand; / all the clouds have touched the sun, / and the ships have reached the land; / for thy love has said to me, / no more night! and no more sea!” this year, i have only one wish and one hope: to gain him. if there’s anything i’ve learned over the years, it’s that putting hope or expectation in anything other than him will result in disappointment, heartbreak, and heartache. so this year, i’m praying psalm 73:25 in faith, again and again, “whom do i have in heaven but you? and besides you there is nothing i desire on earth.” my prayer is that i would not care for anything except god and gaining him. and that in all the situations that are to come, my being would be set on him, and my heart would be pure and single towards him, that he would be able to grow in me without frustration ♡ “when i see thee, i arise / to the hope of cloudless skies.” he is the hope of cloudless skies and he _is_ the cloudless skies. lord, keep my eyes set on you!
81 363 last month
Fun fact: in high school, i thrifted a lot. much has changed since then, but in true back-to-school spirit, you could say i’ve somewhat returned to my roots (bc in middle school, we had uniforms, so you could say “dressing myself” wasn’t really a thing for me until high school. we won’t talk about grade school. let’s just say i had a black shirt w a cat on it that i loved v vv _read: too_ much)— except now, my (much more selective) vintage finds are procured online. these darling manolos came in the mail yesterday and i just 🌝🌚🌝 now, to all those who think i have too many pairs of black shoes, first of all, they all are slightly different and second of all, these are espresso colored sooo 🌚🌝🌚 i literally can’t wait to prance around in these, y’all 🦌 find me at the labor day conf prancin
jk but not rly ok byeee haha
26 183 last month
*settles into a perpetual and unrelenting tiredness that will (presumably) last the entire academic year* *k cool* happy monday, y’all 💘
6 201 last month
I woke up yesterday like dang today’s gon be such a chill day imma sit in a cafe and read books while ppl tag @coc_ucb on ig for our event and i’ll input them as they come in jk it wasn’t chill at all spent 2.5 hrs like did no one listen to me when i gave instructions cause ???? *keeps having to comment on pics like hi can u tag us or i can’t give u points* *hi can u pls use the right hashtag or i ain’t givin u points* *hi for the last time use the right hashtag i’m not giving u any more points until u do* *ruiyu i dont have anyone’s numbers can u call them and tell them to stop ignoring my comments im literally not gonna give them any points until they use the right hashtag* *ok thanks* *ok* *now time to run to the pier before the first group gets there* lol 🎠 all jokes aside, yesterday was rly fun. these are the activities / events i live for... jericho and amazing race. not hikes. or going to the s****d beach. which, btw, i told the team to put a (minimum) 2 month pause on. you’re welcome 🙃 also, get urself kids like mine who are willing to take pics for u at the drop of a hat honestly idk what i did to deserve these little nuggets 👼🏼 bless u my little dumpling @bethanylinhere 💕🥟☺️
20 229 last month
Capping off wedding season with a family wedding 🦒 ft. me and bb sis as ketchup and mustard 🌭 or, alternatively, the #powerpuffgirls with @mulan.p and @oliviz 💥 a huge, huge congratulations to my big cuz @l.heh and the love of his life @adaleezy!!! my heart was so full witnessing the two of you tie the knot last night, and it was such a joy getting to be there with you two and getting to celebrate your union with family. here’s to many more years of family shenanigans! 🥂 love you two lots, xo #youhadmeatheh ♥️
41 399 August 2018
If you’re wondering if i’m still thinking about the chicken and waffles i had on saturday, the answer is yes, yes i am. four of my favorite things at once: fried chicken, waffles, gravy, and (not pictured, but house-made!) hot sauce = one heppy me 🌝 also i got a new sweater dress today huehuehue and i kinda just wanna fast forward to winter ❄️ can we skip the rest of this month and the looming indian summer??? i’m ready for sweater weather
also why isn’t there a sweater emoji
5 133 August 2018
“brine rose to calmer fault
til to brim it claimed me whole
and the death waters stole me
and dragged me down below

til the storm clapped soundly
and the tempest wind roared
and watched as repeated, my fingers tore

through the lisp of the water,
tender soaked.

savior, find me,
take me back to shore.
for i’ve forgotten completely
and i no longer know.

i see the sea,
how it waxes and how it wanes.
i claim the upset and say it in name.
swell and collapse i know, and i see with my eyes
but i know no longer where

the sea begins,

and where i,

savior,
oh savior,

end.” x
also written in 2016 at the end of my second term in the training. originally posted a snippet of this poem when my grandmother passed in february 2017, followed by this bit: “‘there’s a chasm in my being,’ i told him, ‘where all the unspoken and the should-have-said's roam, teething at my innards, raw and unforgiving, terrible and clawed. it's pain and it's regret and it's me torn asunder, unaffected on the outside and yet inwardly, me and the sea, the sea and me... wrecked indistinguishable. and if a part of me's been broken like this, if a part of me's been taken away... in what world does this collapse find seams?’ ☞ ‘he who descended, he is also the one who ascended far above all the heavens that he might fill all things.’ — ephesians 4:10” i am happy to say that now, in 2018, i have come to know and am continuing to know this one who not only calms the devastation in my inward being, but also fills me with himself. this one is the mending one. he is the seams. #sometimesiwrite #rawwritersdiary #arawwrite
15 155 August 2018
“because the flowers you grew
withered

and then bloomed once more

and now twist,

like clasping brambles between the breath of my ribcage and the gasp of my collarbone.

and now sprout, ∘
petals awry, ∘
along the thread of my lips and the crease of my lids.

a garden:

your song

and our story.

lord, i've spent too long running
and at last, ‘at length i yield.’

until i'm overtaken completely
and each gap, a blossom lush unfold,

— grow” x
something from the archives. i wrote this in 2016 at the end of my second term in the training, but it’s still very much my experience with him. keep growing in me, lord ♡ #sometimesiwrite #rawwritersdiary #arawwrite
13 132 August 2018
Today thus far: still dreaming of this orange cream latte from @saintfrankcoffee and finishing up a preview of craig brown’s 99 glimpses of princess margaret (really, how did you expect me to hold over until @thecrownnetflix came back? let me live). sundays always feel like the calm before the storm... probably because they are ☕️
3 150 August 2018
“light filters

sun dances

and the dust

se t t le s into a standstill
that rouses ∘
silence

and turns back
t i me.

did you feel?

when you looked me in the eyes
and told me lies?

i do not know

how deranged,
the sociopath who tore trust from my bones
is given a free pass
while i live with splinters
midst these trees,

told by society
that somehow, with this wood,
with the sprig tree
fire remains,

i’m to build ca s t l e s.

ask me,

how it feels

to have my entire being emptied
on behalf of the void,

only to open
my shuttered
eyes

and see

the plunder,

the pill a g e,

the maraud.

...the mirage.

ask me how i breathe.
how the ashes became air to me.

did you feel emptied
too?

at your
leave

or were you full,

full of me?
— questions for the void” x
#sometimesiwrite #rawwritersdiary #arawwrite
14 179 August 2018
☞ k i ts u ne by @alxndracook ∕ ♛ snapped by @ameelo

this week in a nutshell: i made too much thai curry and i rly want to stop eating this meal but there’s still so much left y i do dis to myself halp
21 166 August 2018