I’m not perfect and i will never aspire to be perfect for anyone else. my transparency and my words are my code of honor. i’m not ashamed to admit or share with the world that the past has left indelible scars on me. over the years there has been harsh changes in my neurology and motor skills that are visibly the effects of the severe abuse that i endured as a child. i struggle constantly with my writing and organizing my thoughts. i struggle with focusing and multitasking with the simplest of task. what takes people like 10 minutes to write takes me an hour and that’s ok with me. i’ve learned to be compassionate with myself throughout this healing journey. i’ve learned to live with the repercussions of the trauma of the s****l abuse with dignity. but one thing that i am sure of is that i am proud that despite all that i have endured and continue to face, i have chosen a life of service and purpose for other survivors. i am proud that i can assist, inspire, support and empower survivors and non survivors through my advocacy work every day. we all have a purpose in this life. what is your life purpose? find that purpose within yourself or the service you would like to offer to the world. the service and the meaning that you bring to your service is that which is lasting and is your calling in life. when we serve behind the scenes without expectations or asking for recognition or accolades from anyone the service to our community is genuine, beautiful and it helps you to continue growing as a human being. there are no limitations to what we can do in our lives. we choose to put up those limitations when we don’t believe in ourselves.
Some secrets should never be kept in a child’s life. we teach our children to unconditionally trust people of authority in their lives. we need to teach our children to tell us when they are touched inappropriately or hurt in any way regardless of who the person is around them. there never should be blind trust for anyone when it comes to the safety of our children.
harold glen hull
survivor of childhood abuse and s****l abuse.
the s****l abuse that i suffered as a child left me with several social, trusting and insecurity issues as a young woman. these issues caused my life to come to a complete halt and was filled with turmoil. as a young woman i was fighting internally with my pain and used drugs and alcohol to alleviate my pain. the alcohol and drugs brought more pain into my life leading me to more abuse from other people. people that took advantage of my vulnerabilities as a broken woman. throughout my painful journey i suffered through domestic violence, human trafficking and imprisonment. this is the destruction that silence caused my life. i was afraid to be labeled by people. i was afraid of peoples' reactions about the abuse. i was afraid of the revictimization that society puts survivors through with their ignorant remarks towards the victims. society doesn’t know the extent of the damage that silence causes survivors. i hope that by sharing my story with the good and the bad i can help change the ways survivors of s****l abuse are treated when we reveal our stories of abuse. i hope we listen to them with the compassion and the support that they truly deserve.
i am not the things my family did
i am not the voices in my head
i am not the pieces of the brokenness inside
i am light, i am light
i'm not the mistakes that i have made
or any of the things that caused me pain
i am not the pieces of the dream i left behind
i am light, i am light
i am not the color of my eyes
i am not the skin on the outside
i am not my age
i am not my race
my soul inside is all light, all light
oh light, all light
I don’t agree with a culture that places demands on victims and survivors, insisting that we are not whole until we forgive. forgiveness is a decision that only the survivor can make. don’t shove the forgiveness word down their throats. allow victims/survivors to grief, process and make their own decisions about how to heal from the s****l abuse.
Some of our deepest struggles as survivors of s****l abuse consist of our desires for people to understand, believe and to support us. we have to accept that too much of what we’ve been through won’t readily be understood by the majority of society. we have to walk away from that constant search of being validated or we will continue to suffer for the rest of our lives. we cannot live our lives proving ourselves or sharing our most painful details to people once, twice and millions of times to be met with the same incomprehension, the same inhumanity and the same denial by the same people.
it was me campaign, inc
because i was 8 years old and i was scared and ashamed of what was being done to me. the people that sexually abused me as a child were my family members. it was my grandmother and my biological father. i was 14 years old when i reported to the police that my father had sexually abused me for 5 years. my family immediately disowned me. they didn’t believe me and they protected my father. i was unwanted and abandoned by everyone. the police believed me because there was sufficient physical evidence of the abuse. but i never mentioned my grandmother’s s****l abuse because i didn’t think that her s****l assault counted as s****l abuse. there was no real p*********n just o**l copulation and touching by my grandmother. however, the judicial system always looks for “evidence” and there was no evidence to prove what my grandmother had done to me when i was 8 years old. there are many reasons that survivors don’t tell anyone about the s****l abuse or the r**e inflicted upon them. it’s been many years after the s****l abuse and i recently had a flashback of my father sexually abusing me when i was three years old. i will never be able to tell you when the s****l abuse begun as a child. i can’t tell you the time, what he/she was wearing during each assault on me. i can’t give you a chronological timeline of the events. does this make me a liar? no. i was too busy dissociating and surviving this horrific assault to my dignity, mind, body and soul.