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rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz Twitter and Snapchat- Rejectedjokes http://www.rejectedjokes.com/
1,029 posts
386.58k followers
468 following

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Me and my doggo in the bronx.
61 8,593 2 days ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Playing meta mario.
43 4,589 4 days ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Two newly secretly signed copies of things you should already know about dating, you f*****g idiot are at @skylightbooks on vermont in la. right. now. behind the front counter of the store. enjoy! more secret signings coming soon.
70 6,689 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Happy #nationalmilkday from @jakehurwitz and @amir and me. here are some outtakes from over 5 years ago.
338 8,483 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Jake does a push up during a writing session. @jakehurwitz @amir.
142 7,241 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
If you didn’t get tix for january. we are only doing one middleditch and schwartz show at @largolosangeles in february. on 2/8. tix just went up. can’t promise that @tombini won’t try to dab again. also apparently i don’t know how to post gifs on instagram.
82 5,722 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
As per tradition, @scottaukerman @mrsanz and i welcome you to 2018 with the first comedy b**g bang of the year! up on rejectedjokes.com right now. happy new year!
37 7,304 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
One of my father’s wonderful friends just mailed me a flyer for, i think, the first ever hot sauce sketch show over 12 years ago. we did this after months of trying sketches and right before gil joined.
15 3,607 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Here’s a photo of me living in a tent in chad and will’s apartment when i first moved to la. this is where i slept for a while. to my right is the kitchen and in front of me is guitar hero.
84 15,188 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Hey @blakegriffin32, i made you a commercial this morning at 6am for your @jumpman23 brand sneakers from a bunch of years ago. also the rim broke. sadly, this is not an ad.
129 8,195 2 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Here’s my best nine of 2017. what a year. #bestnine2017
219 18,962 3 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
My first meal of 2018 included a hot chocolate and a lemon tart. it’s all downhill from here.
160 24,982 3 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Happy new year from 🇫🇷! i was told this is how you’re supposed to celebrate here.
100 13,609 3 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Running around paris looking for the chef with the rat in his hat.
234 36,533 3 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
It is driving me crazy that i can’t guess this person’s wifi password.
105 6,171 4 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Me hiding from 2017.
82 15,201 4 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
👍
176 15,328 4 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
178 11,375 4 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
I assume my parents named me at this exact spot in england- between made by ben and schwartz bros. very happy i wasn’t named between jolly’s and dingles.
96 21,592 4 weeks ago

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
Reason 32 why danny pudi (@sauerkraut13 ) and i aren’t asked to record @ducktalestv together anymore. constant dance breaks. video by either an angones or a youngberg.
201 14,296 4 weeks ago