Loading...

rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz Twitter and Snapchat- Rejectedjokes http://www.rejectedjokes.com/
972 posts
356.04k followers
459 following
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
3 hours ago
rejectedjokes
After months of people confusing joe keery @uncle_jezzy and i on the street, it's time i took advantage and got a free marshmallow tuxedo. this is just the trailer. the full video is up on rejectedjokes.com right now. i wrote and directed this one for @visa_us #ad #strangerthings
162 7,863
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
2 days ago
rejectedjokes @dearevanhansen remains incredible & @bensplatt will forever be inspiring & amazing. every night he ties a tie perfectly without a mirror!
43 8,426
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
3 days ago
rejectedjokes Dear nyc, i just signed 6 of our books at the barnes and noble in union square all with weird sayings then put them here. enjoy! update- these sold out in 10 minutes which is insane to me. thanks! more secret signings to come!
65 5,925
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
3 days ago
rejectedjokes One week. illustration by @stevedressler. original characters by george lucas, @scottaukerman and ben schwartz.
199 5,750
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
5 days ago
rejectedjokes Today @misslauramoses and i secretly signed copies of our new book in la at @skylightbooks, @barnesandnoble the grove and @booksoup! each one has a different weird message in it. go get em!!!
45 4,667
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
6 days ago
rejectedjokes Holy s**t our book is out today! you can get "things you should already know about dating, you f*****g idiot" in bookstores and online right now!
44 3,836
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
2 weeks ago
rejectedjokes The classic comedy team of billy and ben are making a movie in ny called we are unsatisfied. i'm so excited my smile hurts.
175 12,736
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
2 weeks ago
rejectedjokes
I signed copies of my new book with @misslauramoses called "things you should already know about dating, you f*****g idiot" for @jakehurwitz and @amir.
45 5,153
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
3 weeks ago
rejectedjokes Cuphead. one player. regular mode all the way through. i am exhausted. shit. was. not. easy.
107 7,068
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
3 weeks ago
rejectedjokes Thank you for everything. you can stop running now sweet prince.
116 12,426
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
3 weeks ago
rejectedjokes I am on the @latelateshow with this incredible, wonderful, talented goddess tonight chatting about my new book i wrote with @misslauramoses called things you should already know about dating you f*****g idiot. 12:35 cbs.
77 16,299
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
4 weeks ago
rejectedjokes Yes @nickkroll @stephenathome, i did do a summer program at the @bronxzoo where i cleaned the petting zoo cages. this was my favorite llama. #puberme #puertoricorelief
137 19,645
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
5 weeks ago
rejectedjokes Second base was even weirder.
110 20,569
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
last month
rejectedjokes Ducktales is back tomorrow on @disneyxd with all these loons plus @bibbymoynihan and incredible guest stars! photo by @buzzfeednews
62 12,713
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
last month
rejectedjokes The three of us are writing together again. there will not be a b**t licking scene. of course. cc @amir @jakehurwitz
124 6,884
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
last month
rejectedjokes Some shots from last night's middleditch and schwartz show at @dadsgarageatl in atlanta. thanks to everyone who came out. @tombini and i had a blast. photos by audience members.
60 8,632
rejectedjokes

@rejectedjokes

Ben Schwartz
last month
rejectedjokes
‪thank you atlanta and @dadsgarageatl for having us tonight. @tombini and i had a blast making stuff up for you for an hour.‬
51 4,860