Happy sunday 😍 plain oats with chia this morning topped with golden kiwi, bluebs, raspberries, buckwheat groats & almond butter 👌🏼 i eat a lot of oats, but there are loads of cereals suitable for vegans 😏 i’m also a huge fan of weetabix & shredded wheat, but i know there are many others suitable for vegans too- even the more unhealthy ones 😆 we are off for a 7 mile run this morning, hope you guys have a lovely sunday 💚
20 hours ago
Sunday salad edition continues🙊😍 🥗 crab meat is so easy and convenient . we always keep a couple jars in the cupboard for an easy throw it together meal!! but ofc 🍕 later... there used to be a time where i would have to eat as little as possible during the day before a meal “out” but no more of that. food is fuel for your body but also for your mind too. a meal is just a meal regardless of what’s in it or where it’s from. you still need + deserve all the foods before + after. life’s to short. a little reminder to enjoy yourself 💖 #bbgcommunity#avocado#foodfreedom#iifymgirls#londonfood#salads#weekendfood#lunchbox#glutenfreefood#glutenfreeliving#crab#londonfoodie
Choco-oatmeal w/ pomegranate, nuts and cacao nibs🙃
1 hour ago
Goood morning❤️❤️❤️ part of yesterday’s amaaazingggggg #morningsnack 😍😍😍 were 300g of #strawberries 🍓🍓🍓😍😍😍 so more than pictured😎💁🏻♀️, with 500ml of #soyyoghurt 🌱🌱🌱🍶🍶🍶 and #corncakes 🌽🌽🌽😍💪🏻 // just had a similar pre breakfast snack but instead of strawbs i had a big juicy orange🍊🍊🍊💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 so in some bit i’m going to challenge myself with a vvvvvvvvvvvv scary breakfast so stay tuneeeeddd😎💁🏻♀️ anyways, honestly i feel so c**p and f*t and ugh but i know that’s not true and it’s my ed lying to me but the whole gaining thing is 😓 ugh... but we cannot give up right?💕 have a lovely day❤️❤️❤️
Double tap if you are ready to wave ana goodbye! 💜
Gooood evening❤️❤️❤️instead of showing my delicious #dinner (similar as yesterday) i’m showing you my variation #lunch 😱👌🏻💪🏻 which was lotsss of baked #pumpkin 🎃🎃🎃, with roasted #asparagus 🌱🌱🌱, #cucumber 🥒🥒🥒 #lettuce 🍃🍃🍃, #bellpepper 🌶🌶🌶, 400g of #soyquark 🍶🍶🍶 with #granola 🌾🌾🌾(more post pic😎) // this was a big deal as changing up things is still a challenge but i’m doing it anyways👊🏻💪🏻 and tomorrow i’m also changing up breakfast and lunch😱😱😱 yesss watch what i will have hehe😎🙈💁🏻♀️ anyways, have a lovely evening ❤️❤️❤️
When i want to self-destruct, when i want to punish myself for things i didn’t know i shouldn’t do, when i want to cause myself pain because i feel like i deserve it, i think of the girl in the picture. she needs guidance and protection. she needs love and affection. she needs to be told she is worthy and wanted.
some days, when i think of this girl, i have to reminder myself that she is me: and i have those needs, still, and it’s okay to have needs. having needs doesn’t make you greedy. needing reminders that you’re a worthwhile person isn’t bad. practicing self-care and -protection doesn’t make you selfish.
on the hard days, treat yourself as you would treat a child in need—the child inside of you. be kind to them, show them love, remind them that they are on this earth for a reason. tell them you love them and you hope they’ll stick around.
be kind to yourself.
sunday night reminder that you can and will handle all that life throws at you this week. you are loved. you’re going to be okay.
2.18.18 my scars story. . .
i got my very first tattoo of the world on my wrist when i was 18. i can recall every emotion as the needle went into my skin and it caused me to feel.. to feel the pain again and again caused an adrenaline rush. in october 2017 i cut my wrist causing the scar you see. i had no intention of killing myself at the time, however every intention to feel the pain i thought i deserved the thing i’ve always remembered about pain is it demands to be felt. i can look back now and realize how far i’ve come from that time. it’s been 4 months since i’ve put a blade to my skin. it has not been easy for me. not one day goes by that i forget about the life i’ve lived.. and the hard work i’m going through to make a better life for myself ❤️ my body has come a long way truly. i still can’t look in the mirror and be happy with what i have. 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
🌼worked 11 hours today and boy oh boy my feet are sore from all the walking back and forth from table to table etc 🙃😂 but work is money$$
🌼haven’t given myself any resting time so i’ve recently had flue after flue and just about to feel better now(thank god🙏🏼) 🌼today’s intake
•veggie soup 90 cal as seen in the picture above 👆🏼
Hey you guys! i hope all of you have had a great sunday full of laughs, getting sh** done, and taking a teeny bit of time to relax! once i was done with my breakfast, i got going on my foam-rolling. i did not focus on how “long” i did it for (yes, i made a rule for that), but focused on how i felt instead. i went over each muscle until it wasn’t as sore as it was when i started and boy did it feel amazing (but was so painful at the same time)! i felt much better afterwards and loved/hated every second of it. 😂 then, my mom, sister, and i all got ready and headed out for our weekend grocery shopping! we went to coffee bean to grab a tea, then target, aldi, and albertson’s! i got alllll the goods for the week and had so much fun! i came home, ate my lunch, got all my meal prep done, had my yogurt snack, worked on some homework, and it’s already time for dinner! where has the day gone? i sill have so much stuff to do! 😅 anyways, it’s time to eat! am fueling myself with: baked chicken b****t (in @traderjoeslist 21 seasoning salute), baked potato cubes (in a little coconut oil, cayenne, parsley, garlic powder, and turmeric), roasted brussels (in pepper, cayenne, and garlic powder), and steamed green beans with sriracha for the top! 😍👅💦 just look at the brussels... beautiful. is it weird that i crave them? no? only me? okay. anyways, i posted my weekly update for y’all to see and am so appreciate for the love i got back from it. thank you guys so much for always supporting me 100%. i don’t know where i’d be without all of you. 💖 overall, i’m struggling a little bit with having to sit, but that is what a rest day is for. my body is hurting yet i neglect to listen to it and give it what it needs. i am go go go 150% of the time, day in, day out, and then i get so angry when i’m knocked on my butt. i have to give my body what it needs if i want it to work with me. with building muscle comes repairing of the muscle so that i may grow. my sessions won’t be as intense if i never let myself rest, either, because i literally cannot move. no more of that. 🙅🏻 i have to get my priorities straight and do my homework. bottom. line. no more overdoing
For dinner my family decided to order chinese take out from my favourite chinese restaurant - before my eating disorders got so bad we would order from this place all the time, i’d take huge healthy portions of all my fav dishes and sit at the table with my family while we enjoyed the meal and each others’ company. my eating disorder changed that. now i rarely eat meals with my family because my anxiety gets to be too much to handle. i always eat alone. i almost never let anyone else make food for me because i’m so afraid of not knowing how it was prepared. i rarely take healthy portions of anything because of the guilt & anxiety that comes with having proper healthy portions instead of the usual restricted ones. i have all my meals planned weeks in advance and spontaneous changes to my meal plan triggers my anxiety. i challenged all those fears tonight by choosing to eat the chinese food instead of the meal i had planned, i voluntarily sat at the table with my family, and i ate every last bite of the delicious chow mein noodles, broccoli, and fried rice - just like we used to. well, almost. tonight i took a larger portion than i was comfortable with and that was extremely challenging - but this is still a smaller portion than the healthier version of myself would’ve taken before my disorders. i avoided the extra sauces & deep fried egg rolls - my eating disorders are still in control and some things are still too challenging - but i did sit and share one of my favourite meals with my family and i consider that a #recoverywin. it was refreshing to do something kind of “normal” but my anxiety after this meal is pretty bad. i feel guilty and bloated, i have a million disordered thoughts running through my head about how much oil they used in the fried rice and how the chow mein is packed with carbs and f*t and paranoid thoughts about portion sizes...the negative thoughts are never ending but there are positive thoughts in there too. i managed to eat with my family instead of alone. i managed to take challenging portion sizes and finish the entire meal. i managed to get through it. i still have so much progress that needs to be made but this is another baby step!
This is my real and of course unedited body💪🏼 i refuse to be ashamed of my natural and healthy body size and to let others tell me to change it. no matter what i look like, i choose to love and respect my body fully. also, today is my first time wearing a bikini in years! it’s days like this where i feel so proud of myself for overcoming my eating disorder and getting my life back 😊 ps. wearing @aerie because they don’t retouch any of their models and are totally body positive💪🏼 that’s what i’m talking about! #aeriereal
Feelings can be a real b***h sometimes😕! this morning i had a hard conversation with my mom about some resentments and anger i've had for years but never expressed to her out of loyalty to her and not wanting to hurt her feelings😔. i just swallowed my feelings and numbed them with over exercise and restricting. now all these resentments are coming to the surface and it's confusing and scary and so much more all at once😳. i'm still pretty emotional about the whole thing and don't quite know what to do with all of these feelings🤔. what i do know is that i am not going to respond by giving into ed🙅🏼. it is amazing that i had this conversation before breakfast and i still went ahead and ate my breakfast anyway despite the feelings of intense anxiety and fear running through my body👊. i even mixed these three cereals and had a yummy raisin bran muffin too😋. i hope all you amazing warriors are doing well and slaying your demons one yummy bite at a time🍕🧀🍌🍒🍫😘! #eattobeatit#iwillgain#bodypositive#slay