This #flower basket has a story. i was having a lazy #weekend#sunday lunch with my #godson and his mother in a lovely yard restaurant and we were sitted next to a young british #popstar to whom these flowers had been given as a gift. my #friend told him how ravishing they looked, and when he left the place, he gave them to her. a world of #gentlemen still... #peonies
I’ve been through a lot when it comes to matters of the heart. i’ve had my heart broken countless times. too many disappoints to name. so many hard lessons i’ve had to withstand. so many wrong turns. so many dead ends. so many heart-on-heart collisions. so many times i’ve lost and been forced to learn. so many moments of confusion. so many times i’ve been lost. so many times i’ve thought i had it right to only find out i didn’t. so many great starts that led to difficult endings and promising new beginnings.
**** so many times i wondered if all the pain and lessons i’ve had to endure were just chaos for chaos sake. i envied those who had it clean, simple and easy. those who just met one person and that was it. no drama. no heartbreak. no letdowns. no disappoints. just one and done.
**** why was my road so much tougher? why was i being given so many obstacles? why was i being given so much resistance?
**** i wanted to feel sorry for myself so many times. i wanted to get mad. i wanted to break down. but the inner idealist inside of me, quietly whispered that i was being given this resistance for a reason. that voice told me to hold faith. to stay in the pocket of this pain. to open my eyes and my ears. to pay attention. to allow the pain to serve me.
**** parts of my past brought me shame. parts of my past i wanted to erase. parts of my past left me confused about my future.
**** and then i met you. and for the first time i didn’t want to erase any parts of my past. because i know that my past was not only necessary to find you, but also to recognize you. without the pain, i wouldn’t have been able to appreciate this. i wouldn’t be able to understand this. the depth of my pain prepared me for the depth of this love. i wouldn’t be so clear about why this feels right, without ever having to feel what feels wrong. you’re the sum of my mistakes. the one right to my many wrongs. the clearing within the chaos. the manifestation of everything the pain has taught me about love.
**** i used to want to erase parts of my past. but not anymore i don’t. even with all the pain in my past, i’d live it twice over, because i know it's what led me to you.
Winning is a mindset 🏅 ever since i was young, my nature was extremely lackadaisical, my intention was to only have fun and i never followed through on my skills even if i showed potential. i’ve tried so many extra curricular activities like going to japanese school, piano, kendo, taikwondo, basketball and the rest of the long list all led to quitting or getting burned out. i was even the first one fired by my own mother when the original family restaurant first opened 😒
this proved to me that i was lost amongst the short-term gratification that my child-like self craved. at that moment, there hasn’t ever been such a impactful reality check that occurred in my life until then. i decided to give it my all with everything that i do from that point on and stay committed to whatever i tell myself i would 🌞
thank you for flying with me on this journey of studio shonin 🦅 we will win 🏆