We are so in love with the dimension in this rich babylit shadow root balayage. the way those coffee tones melt into vanilla sugar waves have us like 🙀🤗 who wants to see more like this?!👋
🌸created by @annnacarter (our talented anna is booked 4-6 week’s out so keep that in mind when making an appointment!💖)
🌸products used: @bb hio primer, does it all hairspray (for curls) and thickening spray (for hold)
i have been talking a lot about my history of eating disorder, weight loss and the struggle to love my body.
today i want to also visually show you where i came from and where i am now.
the picture on the left is from one of the last shootings i did when i was starving myself - shortly after the dizzy spells had gotten to a point, where shooting was impossible. or any other human activity for that matter.
was i happy then? no. in my skinniest times i felt the biggest. i was also physically hitting a wall, always dizzy, always tired, always in a bad mood. i was absolutely miserable and the only thing on my mind was the restriction to eat anything else but my three nuts a day.
the picture on the right is from a shooting now. it’s easy to see, that i am heavier - all cards on the table: the heaviest i have ever been. am i happy now? no. i still suffer from tiredness and depression, i feel sick to my stomach a lot and losing weight doesn’t seem to be an option. i miss the times when i was fit! not as skinny as on the left, but fit! when i used to run every day and do yoga and go to the gym and always ate the right thing.
i am not where i want to be.
the truth is: happiness probably lies somewhere in the middle between those two pictures. in the end, it all comes back to balance! *
but i have learned that „weight“ alone can never be the factor that determines my self love! this is my body teaching me to love and accept myself as i am now. and even as i was then.
it’s a long process and i have a long way to go. sure, some days are still hard, some days eating is still painful - but the number of those days has gone down drastically - and that’s one thing i can be happy and proud about today.
Another strange thing about my painting process... the best ideas strike in the middle of a painting. it’s very hard to start with a specific idea in mind because those ideas crumble over and over again. the finished product is often worlds different from where i start. i truly believe that the muse visits those who are working. you can’t wait for an idea to come, because when the idea comes it needs to find you already painting. 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️ <—— that makes me sound both strange and like i read too many books on painting, which i do.
Gatsby dream 💫 @glorious.accessories embellished headband & earrings - each pieces is designed and handmade by my dear friend gloria, who shares the same love for retro romanticism and barely pink with me💓if you are looking for wedding or occasion accessories, check out her one of a kind designs! and btw, how do you like my #gatsbystyle?