Mesmerising contrasts ✨ grand teton national park, wyoming. 📷 by @trailwandering
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12 hours ago
road overlook | valley of fire s.p. | nevada
- looking forward to another roadtrip soon.
4 hours ago
I love fall most of all 😍🦔🍁 how cold is it where you are? did you get any snow yet? ❄️
Social anxiety... yesterday was my first day snowboarding for the season and even though the snowboarding part was so fun.. the opening day culture sent me into a social anxiety tailspin.
here’s the thing, my social anxiety started right after college. i had been “arielle the competitive snowboarder/party animal” and as i let go of that chapter of who i had been i felt lost.. it’s crazy how much of our self-worth we put into our titles.. i turned my energy towards yoga and even thought that because i was no longer competing it wasn’t even worth it to snowboard at all. quit for 4 years.. even skipping winter all together for 2 of them.
my dad passed away almost exactly four years ago and it sparked a series of events leading me to move home to colorado and fall back in love with the sport that has brought me so much joy over the last 15 years. so what does this have to do with opening day? what i love about snowboarding is the feeling of connection with the mountain.. the rush you get when you go as fast as that board will take you.. the sheer divinity that is making a turn in untouched pow.. and the connection you feel with a friend when you both beam in excitement about your mutual experience. what i don’t love.. the drinking culture that comes along with it.. and here’s the thing. it’s not because i think everyone needs to quit partying or live their lives like i do. it’s not that at all.. it because deep down there is a part of me that fall’s back to the pit of despair that came when i changed chapters. there’s an uprising of not good enough/not cool enough thoughts.. theres the part that feels a bit left out because at 9pm these days you’ll find me meditating instead of getting ready for a night out.. my social anxiety monster rises to say i need to be someone other than who i am... while i’ve come a long way i definitely have not perfected the art of moving through these feelings.. what i can say is this.. writing this was part of my medicine. seeing it all for what it was. putting words to it.. instantly, i feel lighter. and tomorrow? tomorrow is a new opportunity to remind myself that i am enough. i am more than enough. just as i am. and so are you.