Good days, bad days. we have them all. today was my bad day. my body image is just awful and i ripped the tube out as my feeds got upped today😓 i soon calmed down after a big cry and being restrained again. but they know how difficult i’m finding it. tomorrow is a new day🤲🏼 my consultant is in tomorrow, i’m hoping to come off the naso all day and try the o**l meal plan again. as i haven’t purged in 3 days😌😊
i wrote a little something today in the midst of my meltdown.... if you care to read it! one lucy...
one tube, two voices
one brain, two thought processes
one lucy, two identities
one illogical, unhealthy yet ever so convincing and the other quiet, hopeful with a future in sight.
as the nasogastric feeds run for hours on end, one voice is louder, convincing her the people who are trying to help her are trying to sabotage her superficial “success”
a quiet voice whispers, she is starting to hear it more clearly, yet she struggles to trust it. this voice is new to her, merely a stranger, yet promises her a beautiful future. as she sits and listens to her internal battle all day, she wonders will she come out the other side or will this simply remain her life? both scream fight for control, but which actually delivers her control?
she’s proud, she’s making progress.
she’s sad, she’s grieving, she’s overwhelmed. her superficially comfortable and some what euphoric yet twisted ‘safety’ bubble floats higher and higher when it sees how much she’s hurting without it. but she’s really hurting the most when she remains in it.
like a narcissistic lover, a two faced friend, a loyal devil. eventually the choice will be taken away, the bubble would pop, gone forever and irreversible.
so she has to start, she does not feel ready but she never has. she has to find her worth without it involving numbers or self destruction. perhaps this will be the most tragically beautiful time in her life. as she becomes all that she wants to be. she remains unbelievably fierce, until ultimately only one remains, one lucy.
and in 59 seconds flat, i’ll show the difference and how to fix them.
watch the clip and tag someone who needs this eye-opening mental shift.
14 hours ago
After my second year of university i couldn’t stand it any longer. i sat across the room from my parents whilst they were watching tv. a while passed and in an ad break i just blurted out: ‘i’m not okay’ and burst into tears, naturally.
never has anyone been so calmly shocked. both my parents actually engaged with me and then realised we were about to enter a battle, as a team, that we had to win. eventually i told my university flatmate the next year, who said she had similar problems, you are not alone.
those closest to you will never ever shrug you off if you just spit it out. thats all you have to do -‘i’m not okay’- then they ask ‘what do you mean, whats wrong’ and then you open a dialogue. you have to be prepared though. talking about it in depth can be mentally draining. but you don’t even need to do that the first time around. -‘i just mean i have this constant panic in me even though nothing is actually wrong’.
if they react badly though... i have had this happen. and i kept that person in my life for two years. i regret it. those people are not meant for you. those people try and make it about them or even say ‘everyone feels like that, its normal’ or ‘oh, you’re fine then if nothing’s actually wrong’. those people don’t engage because, truth bomb: they don’t care enough. its tough and its hard and it may seem like your whole routine would change without them.
but i promise you you’ll fill your time, i promise you better people will come into your life and i promise you there are others who are there for you whom you wouldn’t expect. and as your judgement improves with experience, the people you surround yourself with will only be more right for you. you just have to take that step of removing the ‘toxic’ ones. #anxiety#anxietysupport#likeforlikes#mentalillness#introvertedextrovert#confessions#anxietyquotes#anxietyhelp#health#mentalhealth#happyquotes#lifequotes#lonely#heretohelp#mentalhealthrecovery#instahappy#itsokaynottobeokay#inspiration#everydayanxiety#ptsd#happinessproject#peaceofmind#speakup#toxicpeople
4 weeks ago
This phrase is a reminder to surround myself with those individuals who are positive. i believe positivity is powerful🤝🗣💞. making a choice to surround myself with individuals who are positive helps me feel empowered, gives me strength and i feel supported. at the same time i have also recognized that being around those individuals who are toxic to me makes me feel weak, tired and exhausted. it’s taken me awhile to recognize those individuals, but now i do. i have made a choice. now i have created boundaries and limitations to those individuals who doubt me and what i am capable of. today, i surround myself with individuals who are positive, encourage, love and believe in each other.❤️. who are you surrounded by? people who help give you strength, encouragement and belief in you or people who make you feel powerless, weak, and discouraged? make a choice to surround yourself with people who have faith, hope and believe all that you can be and more ❤️ #faith#hope#believe#onewomansstory#mentalhealth#positivity#strength#empowerment#encouragement#makeachoice#surroundyourselfwithgoodpeople
Some days are just sad days where crying is release.
yesterday was one of those days for me. i woke up this morning with cramps from dehydration. life is hard, things sometimes suck. i’m mostly well, but sometimes you’ve just got to allow yourself a chance to crumble, to not be “on,” to have a “good cry.” i think of myself as an optimistic & kind person, but when times are rough i see all the bad & am hardest on those who love me unconditionally.
this pregnancy is bringing fourth all kinds of emotions, the hormones have me stirring things up. i’m ok with it as it feels like it was all a bit pent up.
i feel like myself again today. i feel like i need to drink a gallon of water, but better.
days like yesterday, when people check in on me to see how i’m doing may set me thinking “how do i feel?” be prepared to hear about how i’m honestly feeling. if you don’t want to know, please don’t ask.
let’s try to be more genuinely concerned about others.
how do you feel today?
We couldn’t but post about this awesome human today💚 this absolute rockstar kills her classes with us every week and we are just so proud of her amazing performance and win last night! 🤩 @mariebkelleher you are such a little firecracker, we love your energy and enthusiasm,your infectious smile makes us beam every week and it sure wowed the whole of mitchelstown last night! isn’t she just jaw droppingly amazing!!!well done💚🥁🤟🏼
Just waiting for karma 🖤💛🖤
los domingos son para relajarse, hoy toca una buena sesión de #selfcare. he estado varios findes trabajando sin desconectar, pero hoy he decido parar. me voy a dedicar a hacer un poco de bricolaje en casa, mascarilla casera de carbón activo, baño de espuma, pedicura y comer muchas natillas otoñales (pronto en youtube la receta de esta cremita en versión tarta 🍰). por la noche una cena rica, quizás peli y palomitas para coronar el #domingo. cuéntame que vas a hacer tú para liberar estrés hoy?? así nos inspiramos ❤