Ricardo lopez aka the björk stalker
the ricardo lopez tapes can be found on youtube or around the internet. from january to september in 1996, a man obssessed with björk disintegrates psychologically and makes a video diary of his days leading up to his disturbing final moment. better than any film. it shows reality will always be more enthralling and more shocking than fiction. #stalker#ricardolopez#bjork #björk #humanbehavior#suicide#insanity#mentalillness#horrorcore#horror
i am the #1in4 and without my mental health team and the nhs i may not be here today !! with half of mental health issues starting by the age of 14 75% by the time a person is 18 it really is time to silence the stigma. my anxiety and depression was already present by the time i was 15. my sister had left home and had put pressure on our family we were simply in turmoil. i would throw up purge starve myself cry scream and want to wee a million times a day. when i was going through this i thought i was being a dramatic teenager. little did i know at the time 20 years later i would still be fighting. when i say fighting it’s not an exaggeration i want to stay alive i want to raise my babies see my friends and their families grow yet sometimes i prefer to retreat into myself and not see or talk to anyone. although my 2 of my illnesses started at a young age i only got a full diagnosis at 33. i have a healed fracture in my skull that puts pressure on my brain plus ptsd from trauma suffered at the hands of someone else. even so without 2 of my diagnosis it was 18 years of suffering without proper intervention. i am one of the lucky ones 1 in 4 people suffer 2 in 10 get intervention. so out of 40 people 10 are fighting a hidden illness with only 8 being treated. together as a society we can raise our voices be loud and clear; mental health issues are not to be ashamed of. 100% of the population will be affected at some point by someone with mental health issues weather its themselves their brother their mother their sister their husband or their child. most people are fighting a battle that no one is aware of. @mentalhealthistrending is publicising warriors and their stories; it’s simply amazing to see how many people are breaking the silence showing people they’re not alone. no one should feel like that and as much as i have my own issues my inbox is always open my phone is always on much love 💋💋
join our warrior wall and our movement and let’s get mental health awareness trending together! 🙌🏼🤗🙏🏼🧠💪🏼
Monday 15th october // i'm a little bit in love with this bit of wales atm (also apologies for people who have seen this photo multiple times already, i'm obsessed with it so it's gone onto every account i have 😂)
i really don't want to sound braggy at all when i say this but a couple of weeks ago i found out i've passed my masters with a distinction and honestly? it's a bit overwhelming. not only did i relapse in october leaving me floundering for months, not quite sure if i'd ever be able to fight this fog, but i managed to fight my way through recovery, to the furthest point i've probably ever been in terms of recovery, whilst doing research full time and writing a dissertation. the issue with having something like an eating disorder and yet doing well academically is that you can convince yourself (or rather, your ed can convince you) that you can only achieve great things whilst engaging in disordered rituals/behaviours. when i started recovery again in january i was absolutely, completely, overwhelmingly terrified that i was about to ruin my entire masters (and therefore my entire life ...), i had convinced myself that the only way i could do well was to comply with all these rules and rituals and that if i strayed from that, i would fail. before this i hadn't had a single exam period/big deadline during which i hadn't engaged in behaviours and lapsed or relapsed since my issues started in 2013. that's a lot of exams, and a lot of 'proof' of the theory of must-be-sick-to-do-well in my head, competing against this one tiny voice saying hey maybe it doesn't have to be this hard. and that tiny voice won. it doesn't have to be this hard, it really doesn't. i'm so proud of myself and so determined to not give up. things have been difficult lately but i know i can do it and i know it will be worth it. ☀️ #mentalillness#mentalhealth#recovery#selflove#selfacceptance#selfcare
Tomorrow i have to start working different hours and thus there are two days in the week when working out isn't easily possible.
since seven years i did my workout daily without any excuse - i didn't care if i was sick, had a broken arm or had to get up in the middle of the night to fit it in - it just had to be done.
so usually i would do some exercise today that tomorrow i don't have to do it all because i did some already. but i am not doing it. i know that this exercise routine has to stop. it isn't dedicated or healthy anymore it is just disordered and makes my life worse. so am trying to convince myself that two days without a workout is definitely alright and won't have any bad impact on my life. or? (wow i am so desperately hoping for some assurances that two days without exercise is the right thing to do....) why is it so easy to convince me from my disordered thoughts but so hard to believe the not disordered truth?
I wanted people to understand the importance of this. for us who have psychiatric and mental disorders mental health is more important than physical. if i do not take my medicines i become a danger to myself and others and this is no exaggeration. in my veins runs blood, mood stabilizer, antidepressants, antipsychotics and other medications to keep me stabilized and enable me to live as a "normal" person. everyone likes my madness and my "way of being", but they do not know how much it costs me. every day lived is a day that has expired. i've been accused of using my psychiatric illnesses as a "cane" and using it to justify s***s i've done or said. d**n it, i wish it were so. every time a maniacal phase ends and i see how i behaved or have to deal with the s**t i did or said, i go into a f*****g depressive phase and i have an overwhelming desire to k**l myself because i can not live with the consequences. but today i'm much stronger to deal with all this and i have only one thing to say - try being me for a few days. live with these disorders for a while and with the side effects of medications. just then point your finger to say something. i finish with a phrase from a song from "chorão" - "only the crazy ones know ..." #bipolar#bypolarix#bipolardisorder#ptsd#adhd#mania#depression#anxiety#psychosis#psychiatry#mentalillness#dailybattle#nevergiveup#brokenbrain#intrusivethoughts#suicidaltendencies#controlledmedication#rapidcycling#panicattack#anxietyattack#breathless#despair#fear#anguish#mentalhealth
She is beauty, she is grace, she also likes to stuff her face 😻
my fur babies and my lovely fiancé are what get me through the bad mental health days and the chronic illness flare ups. i couldn’t do this journey without them 🖤