as #nedaweek comes to a close, i wanted to create a piece that exemplified the feelings and visuals that coincide with eating disorders and body dysmorphia.
when you battle an eating disorder you lose sight of yourself. you are truly broken into pieces and you can’t tell which way is up or down. your body, mind and spirit are morphed, broken, and fragmented. you live in constant fear, shame, guilt, and self-loathing. it’s the darkest of times, and it feels inescapable.
but there is a way out.
choosing recovery was both the hardest and best decision i’ve ever made. it’s not easy—it’s a soul-crushing, heart-breaking experience—but it’s so worth it.
for anyone battling #ed, know that you are worthy. you are loved. you are enough. and you deserve to live a life free from the chains of this mental illness.
• #eatingdisorderrecovery#nedaweek#nedawareness#neda •
(to anyone who needs to talk or learn about this disease, my dm’s are open. awareness leads to recovery and change)
What do you say to yourself when you see your body in a photo, the mirror, or in a video?
are you nice?
do you give yourself a compliment?
or do you look at yourself with disgust, shame and anger because you don’t look the way you want?
i’ve been there. i’m still there. i see myself in photos and all i think is “ew.”
but more recently, i’ve started practicing a different approach when it comes to saying things to myself about my body.
instead of looking for the things i hate, i started admiring the things i truly love about myself. not only about my body, but about my personality, my traits, my character.
“i am strong as hell”.
“i love my ability to make people laugh”.
“i care so much about the people in my life”.
“i truly have beautiful eyes”.
and once you start noticing the things you love about yourself, it’s kind of like just speaking it into existence. you eventually begin to whole heartedly, with every fiber of your being, love yourself.
don’t take my word for it, just try it for yourself🤷🏻♀️
🙏someone reached out to me recently. “hey. i saw your story about your past challenge with an eating disorder on your instagram page. i went through the same thing. i’ve never talked to anybody about it before. everybody in the bodybuilding community jokes about it.” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
❤️it takes courage and bravery to reflect and admit that an eating disorder has cast a cloud over your life. if anybody wants to chat - i’m all ears. no judgment, only understanding and listening. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
i also realize that it is national eating disorders awareness week in the us. it’s now been 3+ years since i left the vancouver coastal health eating disorder program. i’m proud to say that now, more than ever, i do not care about how much i weigh. sometimes i have abs - sometimes i’m bloated as hell. sometimes i feel strong, sometimes i feel bleh. most times though, i say eff it - i don’t care 🙅🏻♀️ i eat the carbs and donuts and i order the side of rice🍚 eff these social and cultural standards. recovery is worth it. the key is always understanding that nothing is worth sacrificing an easeful, sustainable, healthy, and joyous life. the journey is not over. there is always work to be done. triggers, past traumas, feelings of inadequacy, guilt and people pleasing - life is a constant quest to always be improving. if you’re interested in my story, link is in bio.
It’s a weird time. if you find yourself going back to disordered behaviors such as calorie counting, bingeing/purging, etc, you have not failed in your recovery.
as my good friend @the_spanglish_therapist often says, recovery is frickin’ hard. it is also isn’t black and white --- it’s a boatload of grey, and it may look different at different stages of life, and depending on the person.
and as @nalgonapositivitypride often says, sometimes the best we can do is harm reduction techniques, such as drinking water before and after a purge or not moving your body because of an injury. gloria has a great webinar on harm reduction techniques on her website.
if you find yourself going back to behaviors that are familiar and provide distraction, comfort, or [insert whatever feeling you want here], it’s understandable. there is so much discomfort, uncertainty, and fear right now, and you may be wanting to protect yourself from all of this.
your instinct may be to feel shame about this, but instead, i invite you to meet these urges with curiosity --- what need are you looking to meet right now by engaging in these behaviors?
and if you are looking to cope differently, what coping mechanisms have helped you deal with difficult situations and feelings in the past?
regardless of your answer to these questions, you are not a failure for engaging in behaviors that help you cope.
Eating disorders don’t have a look. they come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, genders, s****l orientations, ages, and ability levels. the media may portray one stereotypical type of an eating disorder but this is far from the reality and keeps people stuck without support because they don’t think they are “sick enough” to deserve treatment.
the truth is “atypical anorexia” aka anorexia without being “underweight” is far more prevalent than anorexia, which is why the labeling of these diagnoses is also extremely problematic. “atypical anorexia” is actually more typical. this is a testament to the unfortunate fact that weight stigma still exists in the eating disorder and mental health space. we need to do better.
it also doesn’t matter if you qualify for an eating disorder diagnosis. you can engage in eating disorder behaviors without having an eating disorder. in fact, many eating disorder behaviors fly under the radar because our culture has become so disordered around food. eliminating entire food groups, measuring portions, tracking calories, and fasting have become the norm of diet culture and yet these are some of the same behaviors that we see with those who have eating disorders.
Infelizmente, ta carrega um estereótipo de extrema magreza ou de pessoas que provocam vômitos. isso impede que os pacientes identifiquem um distúrbio alimentar e busquem ajuda, devido a falta de informação adequada e também vergonha/culpa por ter uma doença que, muitas vezes, é vista como "frescura". e também, atualmente, devido a "cultura da dieta", vários comportamentos disfuncionais em relação a alimentação estão sendo considerados "normais", com aquele pseudo discurso de saúde.
Today is the last day of national eating disorder awareness week and i wanted to share the something authentic and vulnerable with you guys to show that we do not need to be ashamed of our past but empowered by it.
i struggled with an eating disorder for many years and in that process i lost myself. my self worth, my beauty, my health, my happiness.. i was gone. i spent my all days completely brainwashed in my own mind.. there wasn’t a second that went by that i was controlled by my self-destructive behavior. i was a s***e to my eating disorder but yet i felt like i was in control.
after a couple of tragic things that happened in my life and in my health, i knew it was time for this vicious cycle to end.
being on the other side now (6 1/2 years in recovery), i can look back and say i am so thankful i’m not the broken girl i once was.. but i am proud of who i am today because of her! all glory to god!
recovery is hard work, being vulnerable and broken sucks! but the hard work and pain it took to deal with my issues, learn how to love myself, gain self-respect and believe i am beautiful was all worth it! i am worth it! i am enough! and so are you!!
i challenge you to not only spread awareness but for you to be vulnerable and authentic, to share your story, focus on what you have accomplished and how you can continue to maintain and improve! all of our journeys look different.. but its important to recognize progress! small victories should be celebrated too!
remember the way you speak to yourself matters.
full story on my youtube channel. link is in my stories
Progress isn’t linear. growth isn’t linear. r e c o v e r y isn’t linear. ☯️
life in general isn’t all linear, but rather we go forward, back, side to side, on diagonals, and we twist and turn through space. it’s taken me a long time to learn: one thing i’ve been subconsciously discovering all along through my dance training: we don’t move, live, or exist linearly. 🌞
every day when i wake up, i have to make a recommitment to myself and my eating disorder recovery. i have to consciously make choices to steer away from disordered, obsessive, and controlling behaviors that haunted me for so many years of my life. some days are easier than others, and while most of the time it feels more natural than not, i find myself up against situations that require thought, effort, and decisions. creating boundaries for myself has been one of the greatest tools to advocate for and fight for my own mental health and recovery, and while of course it’s not perfect, it’s created an incredible system that i can rely on to lead me where i need to go when things get challenging. 🌙
my yoga practice saves me time and time again. my injuries and hypermobility remind me of my fragility and humanness, while my strength training and meditation practices remind me of my strength, capability, and capacity for greatness. 💫
we do the best we can. as long as you’re putting one foot in front of (or some days behind, or to the side of) the other, i know you’re going to make it. i love you and so does the universe, don’t give up. i promise it will be worth it. there was a time when i thought i wouldn’t live to see health, happiness, and strength to the degree i know it now, but i’m living, breathing, and sharing it - thank you, universe.
this winter marked nine years since i started my journey into recovery from anorexia nervosa. the journey hasn’t stopped, and it never will. and i’m 100% on board with that. that’s *the work*. 🌊
this week is nedawareness week 2020 - come as you are: hindsight is 20/20. spread awareness, light, and love. and never hesitate to reach out and ask for help. ❤️💙 #neda#nedaweek#nedawareness#comeasyouare 📷: @tyleriacona
We’ve all been through so much change, and whether you’re still in “lockdown” or in an area where restrictions are loosening up - it’s okay to be anxious about what that future looks like. ⠀
art by @jessrachelsharp
1 hour ago
It’s come to my attention that i have many new followers who aren’t exactly sure who i am. so i thought i should introduce myself!
my name is melissa and i have been in recovery from my eating disorder for almost a year now. i have had ups and downs, failures and successes, but all and all i have gained knowledge, compassion, and friendships and i would not trade that for anything in the world. currently i am a sophomore in high school who, like nearly everyone else, is so over virtual learning. if you don’t know already, i love softball, and i hope to one day be strong enough (physically and mentally) to be a collegiate athlete. alongside softball i also enjoy doing creative things like writing, playing guitar/ukulele, and painting. i absolutely adore helping others which is why one day i want to be a therapist specializing in eating disorders. henceforth, why it is time i kick mine in the b**t and tell ed to take a hike. i am currently writing a book about my experience with an eating disorder and how i began the journey to overcome it. i also share small analogies along the way. i cannot wait until you all can read it!
so that was a bit about me, which means it is your turn to introduce yourself! introduce yourself in the comments below! 👇🏼 #mentalhealth#challenge#bodyimage#neda#eatingdisorderrecovery#fucktheed#nedawareness#mentalhealthawareness#anorexianervosarecovery#bodypositive#youareenough#bulimiarecovery#nedaweek#allin#bodypositivity#allsizesmatter#fatisbeautiful#youareenough#fearfood#haes#gettoknowme
15 hours ago
Why your manifestation isn’t working
on today’s episode of wellness realness @christinaricewellness covers 10 manifestation mistakes that are preventing you from attracting what you want! check it out to see what you can do to start correctly manifesting into your life!
16 hours ago
"where do you see yourself in 10 years?" 🤔
how many of you remember that question from high school.. or college.. or therapy.. or all of the above?! 😅🙋 on the left is me 10 years ago. anorexic/bulimic. depressed. malnourished. suicidal. hating myself. hating my body. feeling f*t (despite being underweight). feeling hopeless. feeling like i had no purpose. and thinking dreams would never become a reality... 💔
on the right is me yesterday. at the gym, prepping for mountains i only dreamed of a decade ago. feeling strong. feeling healthy. feeling hopeful. feeling pride in myself for how far i have come and the things i have done and accomplished along the way. 💪
building the stregnth and confidence to be who i am now did not happen overnight. it has taken a decade of work on myself and continued work on myself to continue to progress. where do i see myself in 10 years from now? 🤔
⛰ with my goal of the seven summits and explorer's grand slam completed
⛰ with a flourishing non-profit supporting mental health
⛰ with a booming business helping others achieve their dreams
⛰ living the life i thought i would never had am making it happen!
you get to decide who you are and who you are going to be. you have to take the steps and do the work on yourself and continue to work on yourself if you wish to continue to grow! 🌟
so, i ask you: where do you see yourself in 10 years?!
Oh, my god, something amazing happened today. i was going to meet a guy, and i put on a skirt and a top and ... and i realized that my stomach wasn't sticking out anymore. i have long since come to terms with a very severe bloating. i couldn't wear a tight t-shirt because i was uncomfortable. i began to wear wide sweaters that slightly masked my bulging stomach. i don't mind, but my legs were still skinny and my belly was huge in comparison. i was like a "curve". and then i stopped paying attention. and today i realized that my figure was mine again. my figure type is an hourglass. the slim waist and hips are the same width as the chest. i wore a top that was not shy of my belly, and the skirt hugged my thighs, which i can only be proud of. thank you, recovery. thank you to this community
What do you feel you need to hide about yourself? this makes us feel broken because then we can’t see that everyone else is just hiding too.
ate a box of cookies for lunch? you aren’t alone. have rolls, cellulite, lumps, stretch marks, freckles, and dark circles under your eyes? you are not alone. feel lots of hunger and need to eat lots of food? you are not alone. feel you need to hide your pants size? you are not alone. feel ashamed for desiring pleasurable food? you aren’t alone. feel ashamed for having needs, emotions, feelings? you aren’t alone.
what would happen if everyone were to expose their human parts? diet culture gains power the quieter we are about our human parts. diet culture is so powerful because we are ashamed of our human parts. we can change this. you are not alone.
Shhhhh! i have a big secret. it is called food. i’m not sure if i should let you all in on it because it takes running and recovery to a new level. . .
for the longest time, even though i would consider myself in recovery from my eating disorder, i still had rules with food and runs. unbeknownst to me, this was limiting progress and joy on long runs. .
so i committed to dropping my rules, fueling appropriately during runs and practicing accepting what my strong look likes..
𝙄 𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪𝙥 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙣 𝙘𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙜𝙚, 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 𝙥𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙙𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙. 😢😔 i felt that i didn’t have any true friends, didn’t have any passions or purpose & i felt that i was just wandering through life aimlessly, hiding wherever i could making myself small.⠀
it wasn’t until i saw a girl on instagram who caught my attention. who i saw a light of joy beaming from her. 🙏🏼🙌🏼 she was sharing her health journey, her highs & lows through trying to gain muscle, her struggles with doubt, how she found her voice again, and how she was helping other women do the same.⠀⠀
that is what i wanted for myself & i realized i was the only one standing in my way to get that…….... 🙏🏼.⠀
so guess what i did, i stopped feeling sorry for myself and i took messy, massive action towards the pursuit of finding belief in myself again.⠀⠀
-𝙄 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙨 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜🏃🏻♀️.⠀
-𝙄 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙣𝙪𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙤 𝙄 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙘𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙪𝙨𝙘𝙡𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠.⠀
-𝙄 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙡 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙨𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙤𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙢𝙮 𝙡𝙞𝙛𝙚 💯.⠀
-𝙄 𝙥𝙪𝙩 𝙢𝙮𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙗𝙮 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙜𝙡𝙚𝙨 & 𝙢𝙮 𝙟𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙣 𝙨𝙤𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖 🙏🏼.⠀
-𝙄 𝙥𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙛 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣 👯♀️ 𝙙𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙨𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙜𝙧𝙤𝙬 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙩𝙤𝙤.⠀⠀
𝙄 𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙒𝙀𝘿 𝙐𝙋 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮 𝙙𝙖𝙮.⠀⠀
𝙁𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙢𝙮 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙢𝙪𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙬𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙣⠀⠀
you aren’t watching my day 1, my month 1, or my 1 year journey… 👀this has been a 5+ year journey & i started when no one else was watching. when no one else cared. when no one else believed in me. because i knew daily actions, lead to massive impact.⠀⠀
are you ready to walk along this journey with me? check my stories for everyday for more information on what we do daily!
Blueberry cherry shortbread crumble😍. i mean come. on. shoutout to the best of the best for the shortbread recipe @the_bananadiaries this was to die for! the crumble was sweet, light, & the perfect topping to all the berriesss🤩. i added some oats to make the topping more of a crumble but go to @the_bananadiaries blueberry cobbler recipe for this fabulous topping. as for the berries + cherries, recipe is⬇️. this dessert is delightful &&&& best warmed up with some @oatly vanilla ice cream.
blueberry cherry shortbread crumble
berries + filling
- 3 cups blueberries
- 1.5 cups cherries
- 1/2 cup coconut sugar
- 1 tbsp vanilla
- 1/4 cup maple syrup
- dash of coconut flour
- dash of lemon juice
- preheat oven to 375
- coat pan in coconut oil
- add all ingredients into bowl
- let the berries soakkkk in the sugar
- top with shortbread or any crumble ylu desire! (could be as easy as oats, coconut sugar, cinnamon, & coconut oil)
- bake for 35-40 mins
2 days ago
Controlling your body, your food choices, the feelings you want to feel, the circumstances around you. the thought of being completely in control so you don’t have to feel discomfort sounds like freedom. but it’s not. because humans with complete control don’t exist. humans with complete control is an idealistic version of a human (just like the thin ideal). striving for control is quite pricy and ironically far from freedom.
the opposite of striving for control is surrender. acceptance. enoughness.
this is freedom. this is liberation. yes we may experience hurt and pain, but also joy and love. we may have to look directly at what’s inside of us, but we will also be present for life’s precious moments. yes softness may be uncomfortable, but with softness comes healing and strength.
Reposted from @psicarolinamacanhao reposted from @centroceta infelizmente, ta carrega um estereótipo de extrema magreza ou de pessoas que provocam vômitos. isso impede que os pacientes identifiquem um distúrbio alimentar e busquem ajuda, devido a falta de informação adequada e também vergonha/culpa por ter uma doença que, muitas vezes, é vista como "frescura". e também, atualmente, devido a "cultura da dieta", vários comportamentos disfuncionais em relação a alimentação estão sendo considerados "normais", com aquele pseudo discurso de saúde.
I absolutely hate it when people call someone a “pretty girl.”
first of all, calling someone that is basically implying that their most redeeming, or at least most noticeable, quality is their looks. which, at first glance, a person’s looks might be the most noticeable thing about them, but it doesn’t mean you have to comment on it. getting called pretty is a great confidence booster, but it isn’t a meaningful one, it’s a superficial one. and it also doesn’t last very long, because the second you look in the mirror and hate the reflection you see, that compliment suddenly seems to disappear.
“you’re so pretty” or “super cute” or “gorgeous girl” or other appearance-related comments are the ones we’re constantly seeing on our instagram feeds. and that’s not to say that i haven’t relished that dopamine rush you get when someone tells you how pretty you look in a picture.
but do you know what’s even more powerful? having someone tell you how much they appreciate your authenticity or your vulnerability or how your smile makes their heart happy, or that they love the vibes you give off. those are the compliments this world needs more of.
the truth is that most people don’t have what society deems to be a “pretty face” or a “good body.” it’s called having unrealistic beauty standards, and it just isn’t reality. society measures our worth in instagram followers, pounds, calories, etc. but you can make the conscious decision to not be manipulated by these false measurements of value. you don’t have to be a part of the “crazy train” as i like to call it. i hopped off the crazy train a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean that i don’t get s****d back into it from time to time. it’s hard. believe me, i know.
the point of this i guess is that you can hear compliments like “you’re so pretty,” but you don’t have to listen to them, you don’t have to take them to heart. you can enjoy the temporary self-esteem boost that comes with appearance-related compliments, but you don’t have to attach your entire human value to them. they’re just like thoughts or emotions: they come and they go and the goal is to not hold onto them too tightly. :)
2 days ago
Make today a good day!!
3 days ago
Unity is more important now than ever. let’s look out for one another and respect each other’s vulnerabilities (and our own). art by @peopleiveloved
3 days ago
Think about it.
what is your biggest fear about recovery from your eating disorder or chronic dieting? eating ‘too much’? your natural body size? that you might actually find pleasure and enjoyment in eating? feeling what’s underneath when there is no more numbing? exploring who you really are outside of controlling your body and food? exposing the harm dieting has caused? what people might say? how people might treat you? how the medical community might treat you? loosing access to treatment, procedures, or adequate healthcare? loosing access to (or closeness to) the ‘thin ideal’?
these are a fraction of the reasons why it’s imperative that recovery and non-diet spaces are social justice oriented. your biggest fears didn’t develop just because or for no reason. your biggest fears are valid and real and illustrate how complex ‘health’ actually is.
your body isn’t the problem. if the person(s) supporting you in recovery or who you follow on sm aren’t talking about social justice, you have the right to ask them why or find someone who is.
This photo makes me smile. makes me feel cared about and loved.
it’s often way too easy (for me) to fall into the mindset of seeking my validation through friendships and to begin measuring my self worth by the level of care someone else has or doesn’t have for me. this mindset always leads me holding myself to unattainable standards and constantly feeling like i’ve let myself and other’s down. not only does it take a toll on my mental health, it gives the people i am around a sense of my insecurity. as much as i would have liked to say treatment was an awful waste of my time... i’ve never felt more sure of the things i’ve learned. ((the way you look is the least interesting thing about you. it’s the smile you hold and confidence to which you carry yourself that makes the biggest impression.)) #nedawareness
3 days ago
Damn this smoothie bowl was so loaded you can’t even tell what’s in it!🤪😋 hey there beautiful people! today i wanted to make a post about setting boundaries in the recovery community. this is definitely something that i’ve struggled to tackle in the past, and i also feel it’s extremely important.
when i first started this account, i made it a point to let everyone know that my “dm’s are always open” in case anyone needed me. as a result, i found myself bombarded with messages. while i tried to give advice to as many people as i possibly could, i paused and noticed a few things...
1) a lot of the messages i was receiving came from pro-ana accounts telling me that i didn’t “look anorexic” or asking me for weight loss advice. these messages really triggered me and were honestly harmful to my recovery. this was a big red flag that told me i needed to step back and reconsider the boundaries i set in this community.
2) i realized that i was trying to be a therapist for all of these people. now obviously, i’m not a clinician and am not nearly qualified enough to give these people the proper counseling that they need. if people are seeking serious advice through an online community, that’s a sign that they need a lot more help than they might realize.
3) i actually felt a responsibility to “save” all of these people. this was another huge red flag, and it’s a trap i’ve fallen into way too often. i realized that i was sacrificing my own sanity and taking way too much time out of my day because i felt like it was my duty to help everyone.
the bottom line? it’s not your job. i think this community can be a really incredible place to provide support to one and other as we’re all going through a very similar struggle, however, it’s important to set boundaries in order to protect your own mental health and recover. watch out for when those thoughts of responsibility start creeping in! it’s not your job to save everyone! we’re all just doing our best to help each other, but each person’s recovery is their own responsibility, not yours!!!
4 days ago
“comparison is the thief of joy!
.” - teddy roosevelt
4 days ago
All i gotta say is being a mom during a pandemic is extra difficult. but it’s also extra special. because you get extra time with your kids and that has been so worth it to me 🤍
Fall in love with yourself in 36 questions⠀
arthur aron originally developed these 36 questions in his 1997 study the experimental generation of interpersonal closeness: a procedure and some preliminary findings.⠀
the goal in arthur’s study was to generate closeness between people, not necessarily to create romantic relationships. willing participants in a university psychology class opted to participate in the study.⠀
as someone who has long struggled with self-esteem issues these questions got me thinking… instead of doing them with someone else, could they be used to first fall in love with yourself?⠀ ⠀
read the full article at the link in our bio!⠀
(written by @yourhappinessquest )⠀
Who can relate? it’s easiest to choose to live in fear. but let’s choose to live in risk ❤️
1 weeks ago
If you find yourself holding off, saving up for, eating less, manipulating amounts, choosing or avoiding certain foods because of what you *might* be eating later, then you are future tripping. the same is true for movement or exercise. it’s impossible to know how you will feel or what your body will need in the future. basing current decisions off of an anxious guess will keep you from being able to eat intuitively.
the way to consider the future in an intuitive way is if you won’t have the opportunity to eat around the general time your body is usually hungry. for example, if you are boarding a plane for a 4 hour flight, it might be a good idea to eat before or pack something to take. the difference is, you aren’t trying to eat less out of the fear of what you will eat later.
have you ever found yourself future tripping when trying to make a food choice? how has it affected the rest of your day? what do you notice about your anxiety levels? why might your brain try to use future tripping? why might you avoid feeling present in an eating experience?
1 weeks ago
Life is like a roller coaster 🎢 some days pass slow like a cart trekking uphill, while others fly by just as the wind does blowing through your hair. there are quite a few unknown twists and turns, some good others bad, but all surprises to say the least. throughout the ride, you may feel scared, perhaps anxious, but for the most part, you tend to feel excited. if you think about it, the body goes through very similar reactions when experiencing anxiety and excitement. sometimes just you can’t sit still, your heart might race, you might even feel a little nauseous. so whenever you are anxious, try your best to reframe it into excitement! it will not, by any means, be easy, but this simple exercise can create a much needed safe place for you and your thoughts. the more you choose to believe one idea, the more likely it seems to be possible or “right/true”. that’s why when we get caught in the cycle of negative self talk it tends to feel impossible to pull yourself out of it. reframing disordered thoughts is a perfect way to felicitate positivity during situations which might provoke negative or hard emotions. so next time you find yourself with racing thoughts, sweaty palms, or a leg that just won’t stop bouncing, take a deep, reassuring breath, and remember that all good things originate from uncertainty, and just because you don’t know what will happen doesn’t mean you cannot be excited for it. so buckle up and get ready, because this crazy ride of life is about to start, and we are all very excited to see what it has in store for you! #mentalhealth#challenge#bodyimage#neda#eatingdisorderrecovery#fucktheed#nedawareness#mentalhealthawareness#anorexianervosarecovery#bodypositive#youareenough#bulimiarecovery#nedaweek#allin#bodypositivity#allsizesmatter#fatisbeautiful#youareenough#fearfood#haes
What can feel like insatiable hunger, is actually ‘normal’ in recovery. the body requires a lot of energy to heal, the brain requires a lot of energy to shift from famine mode, and the human has to become reacquainted with the sensation of hunger. this takes time, self-compassion, practice sitting with discomfort, and consistent intake of enough food.
when you begin to eat again, your body may feel broken. but it’s not and you are not. yes, it’s uncomfortable, and it will dissipate. but you have to go through it and experience it. your eating disorder/dieting kept you from experiencing. so the antidote is to experience it all.
In 2014, standing in front of several hundred military special forces, brené brown dispelled the myth, which associated vulnerability with weakness, by posing one question: “vulnerability is the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. can you give me a single example of courage that you’ve witnessed in another soldier or experienced in your own life that did not require experiencing vulnerability?” (dare to lead – brené brown). no one was able to rebuttal the argument: vulnerability does not equal weakness, but courage. henceforth, by allowing yourself to feel emotion and connect with others through them, you will conquer fear of adversity and be recognized not only if you fail or succeed, but by striving to be the man in the arena.
in recovery from an eating disorder, it is important to focus on a specific, achievable purpose or goal, because it facilitates further constructiveness when in times of doubt or grief. today my purpose is to fuel my body because if i don’t i wouldn’t have the energy to do the things in life that i enjoy like going for walks, playing the guitar/ukulele, or interacting with all of you! what are some of everyone else’s goals? what is your purpose for doing it?
Finding races and walks, signing up and committing to them, is a fantastic way to incorporate another platform for fitness into your goals.
this morning, i registered for the neda walk pittsburgh, september 12th at schenley plaza. i've struggled with eating disorders since i was 9 years old, predominantly as trauma numbing behavior. they are addictive behaviors that can be deadly, and have a devastating affect on our everyday lives and power.
if you're local, here in pittsburgh, and want to join me for this walk, or struggling with ed and just want to talk, send me a dm!
2 weeks ago
since some of were interested in the topic i did some research to inform about this form of disordered eating. i have to say that i don't have any experiences with orthorexia myself but i know/read that many people especially in a world of diet culture tend to use orthorexic behaviours without knowing it.
orthorexia nervosa is not registered as an "official" eating disorder and it often comes with other eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia. i think we should change that because people who might have this disorder can feel invalid because it's not "officially registered". 💓
2 weeks ago
To not be known is downright terrifying. to not know what lights you up, what kind of ice cream is your favorite, what it’s like to have opinions and needs and desires. to not know deeper connection, the dark corners of ourselves, the bright light of our soul, to explore your imagination, create, and play. what if others never get to know who you really are because you are muted and obeying the dieting rules? being smaller doesn’t make you a better person and it doesn’t give you more value.
i’m not sure which is actually more frightening, to not know who we are or to never be experienced by the world. to only exist as a smaller version of the greatness that we are? hell no. living hungry is exhausting. living within diet culture is the worst kind of claustrophobia, because at least if you are stuck in an elevator getting out is as easy as someone opening the door. getting out of the trap of diet culture is work. it’s uncomfortable and messy. you can run from the elevator and never get back on. diet culture is insidiously all around us.
to be honest, i’ve thought about leaving instagram. all of social media. a majority of it is so sad, in my opinion. people using their body as a business card, perpetuating fatphobia and drowning us all in fake versions of life. fake. i hate it. however, here i am. still writing a daily post, because i think it makes me more sad to think about my words not being known. these pieces of me are helping someone see something different and to question all the fakeness and the lies. if i’m not here to help call out injustice so that we can inch closer to equality as women and as humans, then i’m not leveraging my privilege for a better world. thanks for listening. thanks for reading. thanks for questioning and challenging the status quo with me.
2 weeks ago
Just a friend reminder that you are flawed and that’s beautiful 💕 and no matter what you are still worthy of love - including your own 🤍
An honest update:
lately it feels like i’m constantly under attack. like my mind and body have been relentlessly receiving punch after punch. irrational thoughts are endlessly perpetuating through my head- self judgment, negativity, and terrible body image litter my mind, piling up like garbage throughout a hoarder’s house. my body has been working extremely hard, fighting day in and out against the eating disorder- against the bully who resides within my brain, who incessantly screams nasty remarks and who will stop at nothing to gain the power it yearns. for the first time in a long time, i find myself actively engaging in a few eating disorder behaviors. instead of remaining recovery focused, i have let my thoughts affects my actions, consequentially leaving quite a bit of room for my ed to waltz right back into my life. i can’t believe that after months of treatment i still feel so completely out of control and powerless against the eating disorder. even after months of ignoring urges and trying my best to shove ed out the door, i was so easily convinced to throw in the towel and retreat back to my old destructive ways. i just feel so completely and utterly lost because i want to recover and move on with my life, ed free, but just like a magnet, i was pulled right back into ed’s clutches. i wholeheartedly want to be completely honest and transparent with you all throughout this recovery process. sometimes i get so caught up with preserving this facade of a recovery oriented, life living, happy, go-lucky girl that i forget to actually check in with myself, to share what is truly going on in my mind. i think i owe it to you all to be completely upfront, and i hope by doing so i am able to remind every one of you that you aren’t alone. remember: you have so much value and purpose, i know it is sometimes hard to see this for ourselves, but trust me when i say, you are uniquely you, and i wouldn’t want it any other way. #mentalhealth#challenge#bodyimage#neda#eatingdisorderrecovery#fucktheed#nedawareness#mentalhealthawareness#anorexianervosarecovery#haes#bodypositive#youareenough#bulimiarecovery#nedaweek#allin#bodypositivity#allsizesmatter
2 weeks ago
“the walls you built won’t protect your heart” .
day 1 of @d_lectric #mindfulmaygiveaway- themes depression/grief 🌫 my therapist told me today it was important to grieve ana (my anorexia)- to honor that portion of my identity before i let it go. my intention for today allow myself to honor and grieve the part of me that i loved dearly even though it was the part of me that was destructive. .
🎵make yourself sick @emeryofficial
2 weeks ago
It’s so easy to feel like you’re not enough, especially in today’s standards of what “enough” is. your worth is not based on your size, shape, weight, hair color, imperfections, race, etc. no matter what anyone in this world says.
you are enough.