On that #itworks train to better health! !!
In my role as resident ‘real fairy godmother’ for @femalefirst_uk i’ve answered their latest reader dilemma below.. ❤️ pippa asks:
my boyfriend is 45 and never married. he was single for four years before he met me. he has a lot of female friends both personal and work. i haven't many friends of the opposite s*x because i'm a bit older and never really formed that many close male friends. i've recently found out he messages a particular female workmate during the day (not sure about the evening) and sends her songs he likes. he even sent her songs that he'd also sent to me and recommended a cd to her he'd bought me for my birthday. he never mentions me to her. the woman in question was someone i met briefly when i went to his workplace about two years ago. she came up to say hello to my boyfriend and didn't take any notice of me. i know that's not grounds to split up but i feel upset and hurt about this as this is how we met! plus, he hardly messages me during the day and has stopped sending me songs he likes. he always talks about the men and women in his work but never this woman. he seems a genuine guy and i know his sister who says he's solid, but i can't get this idea of him sharing something with another woman that he used to do with me. do you think this is something to be worried about? i also was told this information privately, so i can't bring it up with him without incriminating the other person.
oh pippa, no wonder you’re feeling upset and hurt! your situation isn’t as straightforward as it might at first appear and it would be very easy to find yourself going around in circles, feeling confused and even questioning your sanity. there are several factors playing out here and it would be very easy to get confused by the mixed messages you’re receiving.
at 45 someone who’s never been married, who’s been single for 4 years, is likely to be an avoidant. which is psyche speak for someone who avoids intimacy due to internal wounding, usually from childhood.... read my full answer at the weblink in bio.. #realfairygodmother#fairygodmother#femalefirst#agonyaunt