📷 @blessingmanifesting - 1. when my anxiety and depression where at their greatest height - my apartment looked like something out of the show hoarders. seriously. walking to the dumpster to throw my garbage away made me anxious so i'd just let bags of garbage sit in my living room. depression made me too lethargic to do dishes, or rather care about doing dishes. if i spilled something i didn't bother cleaning it up because i didn't have the energy to care.
part of my anxiety/depression healing journey was learning how to face those behaviors and do better. learning how to clean (something other people just *do*) was so hard for me. and it wasn't laziness, it was debilitating mental illness.
2. i used to be a master manipulator and guilt-tripper. have i told someone that i'd k**l myself if they broke up with me? yep. and that's not something that makes me feel good inside. a decade of learning my own worth has fixed that mindset.
3. people are complicated. we all have issues. if someone treats you badly, that's on them. even if you feel like you deserve it, healthy adults tell you that you're being toxic af and then they set boundaries or cut you off - they don't abuse you. i felt for a really long time that because i struggled a lot with my emotions that i deserved pain back. i didn't.
4. when you're codependent your whole word feels like it rests on one person - if they're happy, if you're making them happy - and if you aren't then your self-worth plummets. i had to learn how to put my happiness first.