*possible trigger warning*
well i've spent the majority of today doing a whole lot of nothing. i did play some cards with my roommate as we drank some tea. i also cut today for the first time in almost a year so yeah i'm a f**k up (excuse the language). i just hate the way that i'm feeling. i can't stand it. it causes me so much emotional and physical pain. i debate multiple times a day going to the hospital so they can lock me up until i'm feeling better. i'm not suicidal so i know they won't do s**t (again sorry for the language). my gp doesn't know what to do with my meds anymore and i need to see a psychiatrist but i'm leaving for school in two months so idk what to do. i really don't know what to do about anything anymore.