“how’d i fall for this?”
“how’d i let this happen?”
“what’s wrong with me?” these are statements we here a lot!
when someone is looking to move on from the pain of betrayal and lies, sometimes they begin that journey in self-blame. they blame themselves for believing and believing in the person that they loved. they blame themselves for hope and not being able to apprehend their hope.
in their metaphorical hands they take this emotional 9 tailed whip with heavy leathered strands of
“what i loved about them”
“what i believed about them”
“what i hoped for them”
”what i hoped for us”
“how much i freely gave”
“how much i wanted for us”
“how good they made me feel”
“how we made it this far”
“how hard i fought for us”
and then they tie these sharp stinging nailed barbs of lies at the end of each hopeful strand:
“where did i go wrong?”
“what more could i have done?”
“what don’t i have?”
“why am i not enough?”
“how much more should i have given?”
“how do i make them want this?”
“how can i get the first feelings back?”
“how can i change them?”
“why am i so weak?” they beat themselves mercilessly.
punishing themselves as if they themselves were the culprit.
the truth is that lies are supposed to be believed.
the nature of betrayal is an environment of vulnerability and trust.
the truth is that they are who they are.
don’t beat yourself for them, they’ve done it enough.
grieve the illusion
mourn the deception
but clearly see them as them and not who you hoped they become.
see their choice as theirs and not yours or because of you.
a liar doesn’t need your help to be what they are....they were good at it before you...they will be good at it after you....just understand
that it was never you.
the strength of who you were/are in the midst of the deception, should never be questioned, it should be congratulated.