I was tagged by the beautiful @healthyhapachick to share my @ww story. .
i began my journey, exactly, two years ago today! september 26 has a very special place in my heart because i (unknowingly) joined #ww for the first time on sept 26, 2006 and 10 years, to the date, later i rejoined in 2016. bananas!
this was my third attempt at #ww. i lost 60 lbs the first time around, 50 the second time, and as much as 60 lbs this time. i have lost the same 60 lbs, three times. .
i rejoined, two years ago, not knowing if i was really going to try. i joined because ww emailed me a promotion deal that was too good to pass up. i walked into my meeting and told my leader that i wasn’t sure if i was ready, but i’d try anyway.
that was the best uncertain moment i’ve ever had in my life. i was 207.4 lbs, not my heaviest, but definitely in the worst place i’ve ever been. i was unhappy, i was not in a good place. i never turned to alcohol, sex, or drugs. i turned to food. i remember setting up dinner plans with friends, but i always made sure to eat before i met up with them. that way, they didn’t see how much i really ate. i use to go to the drive-thru and eat in my car, alone. my car because my safe place; nobody would judge me there. .
i refused to date because i was afraid of rejection. who would want an overweight, short, ugly girl? these thoughts were embedded in my head since childhood. i never forgot the teasing, my bullies, or the boys that wouldn’t date me because i was fat. i thought they won.
they didn’t win. i win! although i am 20 lbs heavier today than i was last year, and a total of 25 from my lowest, i am happy! i am strong! i am living my best life. .
everyday, i have to remind myself that i am strong. i am enough. i am loved. i am inspiring. i am capable. i am here.
i am not perfect. i struggle. e v e r y d a y !! but i won’t quit. i may take breaks and long pauses, but i always come home. ww is home.
i nominate @theshrinkingmomma@themuchomama and @the_fit_and_fabuless_mama to share their ww journey.
#ww works for me because i have learned to balance my sweet tooth and my fitness without my mind getting in the way! sometimes i need to rest and not run, don’t need to feel guilty for taking a day off. some days i need to eat sour gummy bears but i have learned to eat my portion and enjoy them, or @eatsmartsweets . i have retrained my brain to acknowledge and accept my needs. to value my needs as i would anyone else’s. to honor my needs by doing what my body asks of me that day, without guilt. i’ve learned there is no bad food and learned to eat for my needs and control wants. i have learned balance and mindful needs leads to freedom from guilt. #wwworksforme because it has allowed me to declutter my mind of all the noise that made me feel bad about myself where i was. all of the noise that said i was a failure and should give up because i ate a burger or i need to run to the bathroom or workout for hours to burn off all of this food. i’ve learned to stop hating myself. i have learned to value myself. #wwworksforme because it ended a viscous cycle of self loathing and self abuse and ended an eating disorder. i have learned my mental health is worth the work and changes everything. i now use exercise as a celebration of what my body can do rather than punishment for what i ate. #wwworksforme because it reprogrammed my brain to see my true potential and freed me from what others told me i could never achieve. #wwworksforme because it helps me celebrate the fabulous creature that i am. and in doing so helps me celebrate others because i have released jealousy. #ww#becauseitworks #weareww #wellnessthatworks#wwteacher#wwrunner#wwnj#wwlifetime#wwwellnessguide#proudtobeww#edrecovery#mentalhealth#wwcommunity#wwinstafam#wwworks4me#wwdiva#wwtransformation#wwsisterhood