Hiked the grand candycaneyon and it was not even real. can't wait to share more photos with y'all. also-- the hiked we picked was called ooh aah and reminded me of the beginning of the song down with the sickness and that is that 🤘🏻
"i suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships, so will our healing, and i know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside." i read this line in the book the shack and it rocked my world. i took a break from insta and from a lot of things in life because i was looking at grace like i was an outsider. but i got some fresh air and some perspective (even saw the grand canyon with this handsome soul) and it was so refreshing. we just sent off one of my sweetest friends here in phoenix after seeing her marry the man of her dreams. i'm so refreshed even though things still aren't perfect or even near it. i've built up so much hurt from relationships; but i'm also starting to realize that relationships heal us too. we just have to have the patience and grace to let them. 💕
I squint my eyes really hard when i'm giggling + smiling too hard. it makes me happy. i have 5 lines around the corners of my mouth from laughing so much. i call them my laugh lines. i love them. i'm a hat freak and i am a romantic and i wear glitter on my eyes even though i think i am a tomboy. i am a lover and a fighter and dancing and picking flowers are my favorite things in the entire world. in the midst of winter, it is extremely hard not to get caught up in seasonal sadness. i never really understood much about people feeling really down in the winter, but i have been experiencing it hard core this past month. so i'm standing here reminding myself of what i love, who i am, and how i am growing even though i feel like farts some days. i've been learning a lot about joy recently. for it to be joy, that means it can't be taken away. i'm learning a lot about healthiness (not just throwing the word around cause it looks pretty). i'm learning how to say sorry even when i want to be defensive. and i'm learning how to let someone in and dance even when i don't want to. take a deep breath and breathe it out. eat some oreos if you need to. do some stretches. shake your lil bootay. you do you. do whatever it takes to pick yourself up. *preaching to myself mostly but also to you too* just know-- if you are in a funky spot because of the weather, because of a boy/ girl, because you want french fries from mcdonalds even though you feel like you need to go to the gym b/c of the pressure the world puts on us; take care of yourself first. remind yourself of what's good. go get those friggen' french fries. don't brush your teeth if you need that. go on a 50 mile run if that makes you feel better. talk to someone. do whatever it takes to take care of yourself. i love you and i'm in the funky boat with you pushing up stream to paradise. i'm with you. (📷 by the sweet @_anna.zajac_) from the most love filled shoot with my handsome boy a few weeks ago.
Whipping n b***y shakin' cause these bad boys are live and ready to get shipped right to you! 🍑✨ don't be moody, shake your booty! @parative has made another one of my words from the windowseat come to life! and my super fine, amazingly talented boyfriend @hubajubba even illustrated it!!! ekkk!!! $20 y'all and such a solid tote. go to www.theparativeproject.com to get your hands on one ✨
Sambam & i have been dating for a month today *cue heart vomit* yes i feel like i'm in middle school. we act like it sometimes too. yes i feel like i'm front row at a bieber concert. yes every time he looks at me i feel the walls around my heart being chiseled down. and a lot of y'all have fangirled over our relationship. yes it is the hottest thing since drake and rhianna but let me tell you something- it takes work. a lot of work. there has been tears. a poop ton of selfish arguments, but at the end of the day we just giggle and say "i am literally being so s****d please forgive me." sam & i decided to bulldoze through our unhealthiness that we realized we were still carrying at the beginning of our relationship instead of in the middle of it. it takes a lot of grace. it takes a lot of love. it takes a lot of jesus. people paint their lives to be these story book beautiful pictures but i don't want that. i've never wanted that. y'all know that because of how i always run after honesty and am never timid to share exactly where i'm at. i want my life to be the one that doesn't get the most attention because it's not covered in false images. i want it to be covered in truth, vulnerability, and courage. and i want my hands that are turning the pages to be covered in callus from fighting and sowing. continue to pursue the love that keeps you up at night from joy. and i promise you it's out there. it's out there. don't settle for anything else than healthiness and someone who will love the living c**p out of you. you deserve it. love that gives you abs from laughing. the relationships that call the worst out in you because they want you to grow and be at your best. keep those people close. say sorry when your sorry. let your defense down, the healthy kind of love isn't trying to tear your life apart. let them hold your hand when they mess up instead of crossing your arms and turning away. love them and love them and love them when it hurts and when you'd rather not. love them with all you've got.
Happy birthday to my favorite guy @justinbieber. words can't express how much i freaking adore you. can't believe it's your mj year. hope we get to dance together like this one day. hire me as a backup dancer soon please. all the love. 💕 (also ladies, my boyfriend made this for me and i hope you find someone some day who loves you and supports you like sam does for me.) #blessings
✨ giveaway closed! winner is @raising.ellie.grace congrats✨ y'all know i adore hosting giveaways and this one is the biggest yet! @walkeredisonfurniture is helping me throw a really, really cool package giveaway. what you'll win: this mid century modern table + 4 chairs from @walkeredisonfurniture, this rug from @rugs_usa, and pillows from @maewoven. to enter all you have to do is:
-follow myself & @walkeredisonfurniture
-tag a friend (or a couple)
super simple! make sure you check out the other accounts and give them a follow as well :) giveaway closes on friday 3/3 12 pm ct and will announce the winner over the weekend!
Since i shared that vulnerable piece of my heart last week, goodness has been flowing in. so many people have had my back and i'm making new fun friends like this beauty @dashokay here and life has been giving me abs from joy. vulnerability sets us up for people to get in. but i'm here to let y'all in on some goodness going on. so much fun stuff is coming y'alls way! look out for a fun giveaway w/ @walkeredisonfurniture and a couple other amazing brands that will spice up your home going live tomorrow. and i'm so pumped to announce that i've collabed with bae @hubajubba (giggling and excited) + @parative again to give y'all a really fun thing that brings another one of my words from the window to life ✨get pumped.
Life has been a lot of up's and a poop ton of downs. my gracious. yesterday i won a free xl pizza but also had an emo breakdown because of things in my past that i am now reaping because of what i sowed. it is hard. i am tired. i'm being physically attacked in just about every area and i want to shave my head off and at the same time i want to dye my hair blue. i'm trying not to get sick because i'm battling mentally, but i'm also battling physically. insecurities are real. they are raw and they are present because i am pursuing healthiness and honesty. and for the first time i'm not hiding behind my problems; but i am conquering them. i've knocked down some big dragons in my heart and in my life and i am doing it. i am doing it. tired yet strong. scared but brave. learning yet unlearning. i am doing it. and the coolest thing is that i know i'm not alone. i know so many of you are walking with me or smiling because you just stepped out of this season. i have the most precious people holding my hand and buying me ice cream when i need it. like this guy right here. love is filling up my core and i am beyond hopeful. i'm learning to accept people for what they offer. even for their love. i'm learning to accept mine too. be hopeful in whatever season you are in. and for the people who are walking with you; hold them close. people need people. always. i love y'all 💕
Home & happy & jet lagged more than ever. even came home to flowers from #bae 😍 but y'all!! a bunch of you sent responses to my silly turbulence ig story asking me to do a blog post on my advice for nervous flyers. so-- i'm gonna do it!! to all you sweet peas out there afraid to fly or if you have any fears-- what do you wanna know? how can i comfort you through my knowledge and love for my job/aviation? ask me and a blog will be coming soon!
Started off my amsterjammin' jetlaggin' runnin' all up & down the city with some of the most delicious dutch pancakes. better known as "pannekoeken" over here. but really tho, i mostly just wanna move to europe for the food. everything is to stinkin' die for #ugh 😍